Like Zelda and F Scott
by bnfem
Summary: Modern day Robert and Cora fic, in which they have a passionate but very destructive relationship.
1. A Tragedy

"Cora sometimes you can be curiously unfeeling," Robert said as he waited for Cora to get ready for a concert tonight. He was looking quite forward to it and was peeved that his wife was taking so long to get ready.

"Oh Robert, please stop that," she said as she put on her last diamond earring. She wore her hair up and a light pink dress that cut down half-past her thigh. Robert did love beautiful things. His wife's legs were beautiful and he imagined ravishing her right there, but then remembered he was still mad at her. Even Cora knew his anger, even when he seemed calm, it was always hiding underneath. She had learned to control it, but forgotten to fear it. She laughed at it actually.

"Let's go," she said and the led the way as he followed her. Cora had her faults of well, of course. She like to remind Robert of the affair he had with Jane Moorsum, a much younger girl that just wanted to make him happy. She laughed at that thought. She had given him everything: her fortune, three daughters, and nearly thirty years of marriage. Yes, he wanted a son and Jane had one. She would give him something that Cora never could. It was the man's job anyway. She was jealous and vindictive about this, even though it happened long ago and he still loved her passionately, maybe too passionately.

Cora was admiring herself in the side view mirror. "So Robert, how did Jane fuck anyway?" she asked. Oh she did love teasing him. "Did you whisper in her ear?"

"Cora, stop it," he said with clenched teeth. "I have to be presentable tonight."

Cora loved to play with him like this. The affair was the one thing that haunted him; he was not completely honorable after this-at least that's what he thought. He had hit her in the past because of her words, but for Cora, it was truly worth it.

"Jane," she whispered in his ear with a smile on her face.

Robert snapped and began hitting her on her shoulders, all he could reach. The car descended through a tunnel and before he knew it, the car was crashed against the tunnel. He pushed Cora against the door and her head started to bleed. For a long time all he could do is repeat "Oh Cora" and kiss her face repeatedly. In fact, many observers thought he would never drive off and meant never to take her to the hospital. But he drove, as he lost more blood. As he drove to the hospital, he called Mary and told her what had happen. Her sisters were not local, so there was no sense of calling them. "Papa, I'll be right there."

Mary Crawley stood on the bus, standing and holding on. She was quite dressed up, and the teenage boys started to tease her. She rolled her eyes, but there she stood taking their words and things they threw at her. She was to shaken to lash out. Poor dear mama, she thought. _Love and passion for a thing can lead to torment. The want to hold it can destroy._

Robert held Cora's hand at the hospital bed. She was unconscious, but the bleeding had stopped. The doctors said their was little chance of her survival, but she was holding on. He couldn't live with himself if he killed her, he would go to, he thought. He had tried already, as they left surgical tools around, but they took them away from he. He would do anything to look into those blue eyes again. "Oh god, Cora," he said and laid is head by her side. Tears fell swiftly and freely. He repeated, "I love you, Cora, my dear." He kissed her hand and felt the warmth of her body. Cora laid with her frail body. And Robert laid in doubt their love could be repaired, it was so passionate too, it was destructive, it was unable to break. He questioned whether Cora could wake after begin so plagued with the destruction he inflicted on her. All he could do was look at her and stay with, hoping their love didn't end in tragedy.

Fun fact: This is based on a dream I had, oh my poor otp :( It must have some meaning though, Robert does bluster about a lot.


	2. A Promise

Note: This was going to be a one-shot, but then I thought I really need to fix my otp and make them perfect like they should be. It's going to be a long road though.

It was nearly three in the morning the next day. Cora was stable, but still wouldn't awake. Robert hadn't moved from her bedside, not even to go get a drink. Mary laid now, against him, as he slept on. She would deal with her anger with him later, now she was just trying to be strong. She stared at her mama, hoping she could wish her awake. It hadn't worked so far. She drew her hand to her mother's and clasped onto it. "Mama, please awake. It's your daughter, Mary. Father is awful, he doesn't deserve to see you again, but I do." She said tearfully, "I know I act like I never need you. Mama, I fear I'm not quite grown yet." Several minutes went by, but it seemed that Cora heard her-her eyes opened.

As soon as Cora had awoke, Mary shook Robert hard and fast. "Papa! Mother is awake." He woke still groggy but ready to react. Tears formed in his eyes. "Oh my darling." He said and grabbed her hands. "Gods be good."

"I'll fetch the doctor, Mary said, not touching her mother not wanting to scared her and exited the room.

"Robert," she said hoarsely and brought his hand up to her chest, where her heart would be.

"Cora, I'm so sorry, my darling…"

"What happened?"

Robert breathed a sigh of relief.

The doctor and Mary rejoined them. After the doctor checked her out, he spoke to Robert and Mary privately.

"Well what is it doctor? Will she be alright?" Mary said hurriedly.

"Oh yes. She…well I would like to keep her here a few days just to make certain."

"What is it doctor?" Robert said.

He hesitated, "It's just that she doesn't remember the circumstances of the accident."

"Will she ever remember? Mary asked, giving Robert a look.

"It may come back one day, but it's unlikely."

"Mary why don't you go get something to eat? I wanna talk to your mama."

Robert entered the room. She was lying, seemed to be sleeping. Her slim body laid limp. He imagined her unconscious again. He remembered how he pushed her, how he could ruin her, not just bloody her or bruise her. Tears formed in his eyes. Her face moved to the other side of the bed, "Robert?" she asked.

"Yes it's me, darling." he said and ran to her bedside. He held her hand and ran his pointer finger against her hand.

"I've always loved when you did that, when we courting-when things were not in a hospital room."

"Darling, it's all my fault," he said and kissed her hand.

"Probably is," she said with sarcasm.

"I want to be better, to get back to how we were. We must love each other not to be destructive."

She started to get drowsy and said, "It's because we love each other that we are destructive."

"Not anymore." he said quietly as she fell asleep and he kissed her on the cheek.

After the news, Mary phoned Sybil and Edith, telling them to see mama now would be a waste of time. Edith promised to come visit in a few weeks; Sybil, on the hand, was traveling doing activist work and could not be spared. she would be home for Christmas in three months. So it was Mary to be with their father and decide what to do with the horrible secret. She wanted to tell her mother right then. She watched them holding hands through the door on the window and look at each other with love. It scared her, what her father did to her, and what he had done to her for awhile now. More than anything, it hurt her that she did nothing about it.

"Mary," her father came out a big later. "Come home with me, I want to discuss something. Mary kissed her mother on the forehead as she slept soundly. It would only be a few days now till she came home. Mary didn't know if she was safer there or at the hospital.

"Mary," he said as they entered the living room.

She was fuming with anger. She had waited all day for this moment. She thought of words to say, but all she could do now was sleep her father hard on the cheek. He grabbed the skin that now turned deep red. "I deserved that."

"You did for nearly killing my mother! Not to mention what else you've done to her."

"I have behaved badly it is true. Guilt will plague me, but please keep my secret."

"Why should I do anything for you?"

"Because we're going to change and I want your held. We're both crazy, you know that."

"I know papa, which is why I don't want to lie to mama. The next time you are in the heat of destructive passion as you call it it could be her life."

"It won't, I swear to you."

Mary eyed him and searched him. She wanted to trust him badly; she wanted her parents to be together and perfect as they were before the affair. His eyes pleaded with her. "Okay, I won't tell. So help me god if you hurt mama, I will hunt you down."

"Thank you! thank you!" Robert kissed her on the cheek over and over.

As she left her father. She said, "I'm only doing this for mama, if she knew what you did, she would certainly die of a broken heart."


	3. Possess Me, Darling

**Warning: Rough sex ahead, this will happen now and again I think, and I'll always put a warning :) **

"Mama, are you sure you're ready to go home?" Mary said as she wheeled her mother outside of the hospital. Her father stood beside her.

"Yes, Mary, she'll be fine I gather. Step aside, I must be all prince-charming like and push her out," Robert said

Mary held her tongue, only just. _If you are prince charming, fairy tales are dead. _"Mama, I will come to visit in a few days, just to check on you." She turned her father, "I trust you will take care of her."

"My darling," Cora said and grabbed her hand, "you are too sweet." Mary kissed her on the cheek and left them.

"I fear my near death has shaken dear Mary." Cora said as Robert grabbed her hand and helped her out of the wheelchair that they made her get escorted in, thought there was no need. "She'll get over it," he said. He faced her as she stood before him. "Ahh yes, they've returned you just as new." he said and carried her in his arms across the parking lot.

"Am I right to trust you driving?" she asked as they got into the car.

"Yes, I wouldn't risk your life twice." he said and smirked.

Cora was very eager when she got home. It had been so long since she had seen her beautiful bed. It was comfortable and more spacious. So nice to see her big screen tv that had more than ten channels. She was quite tired, but oh the mirror how she had missed it! She examined her face, yes it was still there and still beautiful. Although at the side of her head, she still had a bump that she felt, like one exploring something new but would become their own. _Beautiful and Broken, yes she liked that._ "Oh god, these clothes are awful," she said as she looked down at her pale green sweat pant suit. "No, I never should dress like this, even if I'm almost dead." She slipped into a plain, light black night gown that contrasted nicely with her fair skin. After she had her nap, she felt fresh and missed Robert.

She found him sitting in almost darkness, reading the paper. "Robert, whatever are you doing?"

"I'm reading, Cora, what does it look like?"

"Just that. Why didn't you come up?"

He laughed, "Don't worry, darling, I came up to check if you were okay. You just needed to rest."

She joined him on the sofa and cuddled up to him and put two arms, around his one. "You are being quite nice, it doesn't suit you."

"Okay," he whispered, "what if I told you I couldn't be near you because all that's been on my mind from being away from you a week is the strong desire to possess you."

She laughed gently, "that sounds more like you. I hope you haven't gone soft on me-"

Robert brought his two large hands to her face and kissed her deeply. He moved to pin her hands behind her on the sofa and stared into her eyes. She rolled with him to the carpet, it would seem playful at first. But like with everything else with the Crawleys, they loved rough. Robert ripped her dress down the front and she half-moaned and half-laughed with the anticipation of what was coming.

"Oh Robert, what am I always telling you?" she said as he ran his hands down her torso. She took off her bra behind her as he slid off her panties.

"Don't take anything without force?" he guessed. He stroked her neck with his fingers, before placing passionate kisses, preparing her for when he bit down on him.

"You must be taken, darling." he kissed down her chest and took one of her nipples in his mouth while his fingers digger into her thigh. She moaned deeply, a moan of power. She grabbed his shoulders to flip him off, which he was only too willing. She was onto of him now, he quickly slid down in his pants. She opened herself to take him. She thrusted hard and deep, with him inside her. He stifled his moan at first, then succumbed to it. "No, I think it is for you to be taken," she said and she perched over him. He pulled her down on top of him, pushing himself deeper inside her. "You must be taken," he said with a hunger in his eyes. They switched positions again, with Robert on top. He found his way inside as she wrapped her legs around his backside and he moved to sit up facing her, watching as she hit climax with himself.

"Face it, Robert, we are taken with each other.

He pulled her closer to him and she laid her head on his bare chest. "I suppose you're right, darling. He kissed her and ran his fingers through her hair. "How I missed possessing you, without being watched, expected to be that perfect husband, when all I wanted was to possess you."

"Me too, I had to get well I suppose." She perched herself on his chest, lifted her head and looked him quite deeply in the eyes. "Oh, do promise me, Robert that we'll never be one of those boring couples. I couldn't stand it. I'd go mad. She turned over and lifted her legs and released them again.

He put his arm behind her back and laid on his back as well, "We never will be darling. We're better than all of them."

"All of them, and you owe me a dress," she said as she got up to get a smoke.

He studied her naked flesh, the way it moved away from him and back towards him, always back towards him. "My pretty little thing, you will have it."


	4. Back to Destruction

She stood there in a red dress that hugged her slim curves that no one was to know about but him. When they were in the throes of passion, he held onto them. Her legs shown, the ones that wrapped his body instinctively. Her eyes shone like sapphires in the dimly lit room and her hair hung down, framing her face with beauty.

Cora and Robert regularly frequented this club. It was quite old-style dancing and many of their friends went there. The drinks were cheap and the atmosphere was their style. Cora was no longer so young, but she did not look as old as she was. In fact, in this club, Cora was still the focal point of men even though younger women were all around. Their beauty was artificial, it was of a different sort. "Robert never will dance with me," she said to their little group as she stroked his jaw line.

"You mistake me, I just don't dance as often as you."

"Very well, drink your whiskey then."

Philip, one of Robert's old friends, asked if she would like to dance with him. This was rather routine, his wife had left him a little while ago and he was lonely. "Of course," she said and followed him. There. She went away him, how he hated that.

"I wish she wouldn't tease men so," Robert said to his friend Lee, taking a long drink of whiskey.

"She is looking so fine tonight, can you blame them?"

"No, but she is mine and mine alone."

"Of course, she knows that," he paused, "no need to get alpha-male on us all now."

Silence fell and Robert studied Cora and Phillip. He looked so smug looking into her eyes. She returned the glance. He knew Cora was trying to be kind, but he worried about losing her. He always feared losing her, though most times he put it on himself. He imagined she cheated on him, but he was the only one guilty of it. He loved his delusions.

Time past and Cora stayed with dancing, Robert and Cora both grew drunk, Cora grew loosely with her body and Robert grew more upset. They were a fashionable couple, but also a sloppy one-one famous for their drunkenness and back door stories of spousal abuse. Philip's hands was getting more touchy, his hands were on her waist like they were glued there. Cora felt the pressure and welcomed it. As much as she did not intend to cheat on Robert; sometimes the only way she knew that he cared was when he grew jealous over nothing.

Robert stepped out to get some air, out in the hallway. No one was there except some security. He waited until Cora came out. She was not quite as drunk as him, the kind of drunk where you can either have a good time or break down or cry but still have a grasp on reality. She would do both. Cora came out with her arm swung around Philip. "Robert!" she yelled and ran to him. "I've had such a good time." She put his arms around his neck. "Isn't a wonderful night, darling? Bye Philip!" she yelled as the rest of the party left.

They stayed back till they were quite alone. She looked into Robert's eyes. "Sad boy, what's the matter?" she said as she grazed his cheek with the back of her hand.

"Oh, Cora, he seized her face in his two hands and kissed her.

"Robert, stop" she said pulling away and she slapped him hard against his face. He returned the slap. She turned away with tears forming in her eyes.

"Oh I want you, Cora. I wish we were the only two in the room. I would take you," he whispered in her ear.

She breathed hard and felt his breath on her-a part of her wanted to take him, but no. "You can't do that. Slap me and then talk about how bad you want me. Why do you want me only when somebody else wants me?"

"I've always done that. I'll do it again," he said, ignoring the last part of my sentence.

"Why can't you just want me? Aren't I enough? You always have to possess, to control. I'm just the medium." Tears fell silently down her cheek.

He pushed her into a dark corner and kissed her again. He fondled with his hand and cupped her breast underneath her dress. "Darling, I want you so desperately." He started to kiss her neck.

"I thought we were done with this whole destructive thing," she said as she let him do what he wanted.

"This isn't destructive, this is love. The others they don't know what is, they don't understand."

"Is this love," she asked, thinking of the slap he'd just delivered her. She dug a heel into him and pulled her closer, and felt him erect against her.

"Yes, the kind you always wanted," continuing to run his hands over her body. He dug her heel deeper until he pulled away.

"I'm leaving, Robert. If this is the love I wanted, I don't want it anymore. I'm sick of hiding my bruises. I almost lost my life and it's made me realize, I don't want to be boring and I want to love you, but this, whatever we're doing, isn't what I want."

"Cora, we've always done this. Why is it different now?" he said and watched her walk away. He smiled; he wound find her at home in bed. He would take her as he always did. She may fight, but she would let him eventually. Cora was all Robert ever wanted, and he would do anything to get her. The pattern, the trap of the relationship with Cora made him numb to what he was doing. She was always slipping out of his reach, dancing in a different room. Robert didn't even think of what the word destructive meant, he confused it with love. He and Cora had been lulled to sleep for so long the same tune that made their relationship survive and fall deeper into decay. Cora was slowly waking up and demanding a different lullaby, he was still asleep.


	5. Cora's Head

Cora woke up slowly, very slowly. Robert lay next to her, snoring-open mouthed. What a charmer, she thought. The sad part is that he was to her. Whatever he did, she would always love him. She rubbed her eyes.

Although she felt the effects of drinking, she had been haunted by visions of the car accident - it was only glimpses but enough for her. She saw herself hit the car door and Robert smiling maniacally at her. Robert surely didn't have anything to do with it, how could he? Maybe it was a dream effected by the events of last night.

Cora walked over to the mirror. The slap that Robert delivered last night had disappeared. Cora had checked his face, her slap left no imprint- like she left no imprint on him. All she wanted was to make him happy. After the affair everything changed. Robert did the worst thing he could do - break her heart. It was as if it was the first year of marriage all over again, only much worse; there was more than love missing from the equation. And she would let him do things to her, deep down she knew it was wrong, but she took a sick kind of pleasure in it. He was with her that's what mattered. _He wanted her_. Robert was the single most important thing to her and she would never let him go.

It wasn't all Robert's fault. Love made her crazy, more crazier than Cora liked to admit. Her abuse was more emotional than physical, though she did get a few slaps in him over the years. She teased - no tortured - Robert about Jane to get a rise out of him. She knew it bothered him so. Cora had forgotten it really; the more she teased, the more he lashed out at her and she took it for love. It was the one thing that gave her power. She had given it away when she was young, stupidly. She always felt powerless: her girls were gone, her fortune gone, and now she felt trapped in a relationship that she helped build.

She didn't know why she felt like she had to get out now. She supposed it was in the hospital. As she was left alone the last few nights, there was not much to do but think of things she hadn't in awhile. Part of her realized that she wished to stay in that hospital forever, to be treated kindly for the rest of her life. She wondered why her and Robert's relationship was always covered in gloom.

It always had to be now, faster, harder. When she walked into town, she saw couples being gentle and loving, she longed for it. She couldn't remember the last time Robert had treated her with care. She wondered how normal wives woke up, delighted to be next to their husbands and oozing smiles. She woke up haunted by the events of the night before, feeling the sting of slaps that almost never left a mark. She felt like her skin was hiding 1,000 invisible marks that made her and everyone else believe that she was just fine. There must be something in her that madder him, not love her like a princess-which was what she used to be to him.

"Darling, what are you doing?" Robert said from the bed.

She snapped out of her deep thinking, realized she had tears in her eyes, and looked in her mirror at her vanity. "Oh nothing, darling." She wiped her eyes and tried to look normal.

"Come back to bed," he said. He had a knack of being nice in the morning after a tumultuous night. It was impossible to discuss anything that happened. It was almost like in the light of a new day, what was behind them, was dead.

She came back to bed, but kept her distance. She was sitting with her legs folded. "Mary's coming today," she said and smiled at him.

"Oh that's right, Edith is coming in a few weeks, right?"

"Yes, I'll have to phone her to see if she's bringing the kids, or her hubsand."

"That will be nice," he said and stroked her cheek.

"Mama, you look so well," Mary said and took off her gloves. "It is starting to get chilly out there."

"Thank you, Mary," she said and hugged her daughter. Oh how Cora was jealous of Mary. Mary was young, single, and successful as a lawyer. She had no problem getting dates and was never lonely. She gave her heart sparingly and never fully. If only Cora had been raised to love that way.

"And Papa has been taking care of you?" she asked.

"Yes, of course I have," Robert said and invited her in to have tea and sandwiches.

Robert ate quickly, having to meet with some friends. They regularly went to a local to bar to play cards. As he took his leave, he said, "I'll leave you two ladies to catch up, have a girl talk." Robert moved to kiss Cora on the cheek. Mary noticed how her mother took it with no emotion.

Mary moved closer to her mother on the sofa. "Oh Mama, how are you really?"

"I'm fine," Cora said and tried to smile.

"I'm not a child. You don't need to protect me. I want to help, if I can."

Cora burst into tears, "Oh Mary," she said and leaned in to Mary. "How did things get so screwed up? We were so happy while you girls were growing up."

Mary rubbed her mother's arm. "I don't know, Mama. Tell me about it."

"He is so rough and rigid anymore. I don't know why I've changed. I want to love him and I don't want us to be boring, but I don't want what we have. I do awful things to him; he does awful things to me. It's a sick cycle. Something's changed in me, but I'm stuck."

"Have you talked to Papa about this? What does he say?"

"He doesn't want to change, I can feel it." She patted her mother's head and moved to grab tissues from the lamp table. "Here, tears won't help." Cora dried her eyes. "You've cried to much, Mama. You've been strong for too long."

"I have, oh god I don't want to lose him Mary."

"Don't worry about that now, Mama. You need to talk to him about what you want, or you'll never get it."

"You're right, of course. Gosh, I'm such a mess."

"You just have to be strong for awhile more. If not for yourself, for me." Mary stayed with her mother till she was recovered. She hated seeing her mother like this. She wanted to confess her father's secret so badly. She wanted her mother to leave and never feel bad. But she would give her father a chance, and Mary guessed that Cora would stay with him no matter what she said-she was his wife for life. All the suffering she went through demonstrated that. She hugged her mother at the door, "Call me if you need anything, no matter what time."

"Thank you, Mary. Really." her mother said and hugged her tight. Cora sat in the silence. Robert had been out for awhile now. So this was it. She feared losing Robert more than anything. Yes, she would be poor without him-that's not what she feared. She would be poor, she would give him everything, if it meant capturing his heart once again. "I must do it," she whispered to herself.

**Note: This chapter was a look into Cora's head, next chapter will deal with Robert. Thanks for the reviews :D **


	6. Robert's Head

Robert came home. He had rather a boring day at cards, not winning or losing much. He was always disillusioned with life after a hangover, and during the day. He ran upstairs to their bedroom, "Cora?"

"In the shower, darling." she yelled.

"Okay I'll see you when you get out." he answered and sat back on.

Something was going on with Cora; he could sense it. Robert was no good with changed; he faced it horribly - the last time there was a change he had an affair. Cora, after their daughters were grown, had gone out volunteering in the community. Robert felt rejected. If she was leaving him behind, he could leave her too. For the longest time, they had been each other's world. Cora was solely focused on his happiness and Robert counted on it. He had always been possessive and charming. When Cora left the house more often, he turned to Jane- who wanted nothing more than to make him happy, like Cora had wanted to do once. He found comfort in her strong and thick body that was so different than Cora's thin frame. He had stopped the affair and confessed it all to Cora. She had been upset, broken hearted even. She brought it up constantly. Sometimes his temper got the best of him; no it always did. He enjoyed slapping her, he felt in control of her, like she would never slip out of his fingers. Cora spent more time at home after that. Nobody needed to see the bruises. She hid them well when their daughters visited. He had the idea in his mind that he had to be abusive to keep her. Robert had never wanted a girl so badly. With her charm and beauty, she had secured him for life-that is after a year of a loveless marriage. That's why Cora was always fleeting to him, she had not been his but for twenty three years. He was afraid that one day she would no longer love him.

Robert always wondered why she chose him. So many men admired her and so many men would have not robbed her blind. "I wanted the life you could offer me at any price," Cora's words of old rang in his ears. So why was she wishing to change everything now? Robert liked their relationship, no passion without a little destruction. Cora also liked it: the wild sex, where he possessed her completely; Robert could see in her face she even got turned on when he hit her. He regretted almost killing his wife, but he made himself believe that it would never happen again. That experience only made him feel more powerful, holding her life in his hands, he liked that. He was more afraid of losing that power now. And how powerless he usually felt…like he didn't deserve her, like he never did.

Could he really make this relationship work, without his destructive ways and without hers? They had made this tornado together. They rolled in it together, spinning faster and faster to bitter ends. It was a storm that consumed the pure love that they used to share. Together they would have destroy it, Robert was still spinning and thrilling off of it - it was a tradition that he had counted on.

"Robert," she smiled at the sight of him. She looked stunning with a towel tied around her body as she ran her hands through her hear.

"My dear, are we going to our usual club tonight?"

"Mhmm, I don't know I was thinking we could stay in for the night" she said and touched her legs behind her.

"What are you thinking of?" he said, shocked. "We never stay in, it's not our way.

"It's an awful night," she said as thunder brewed. "And I want to talk to you about something." She paced for a while then went to her dresser to get dressed. She always paced when she was nervous.

"Get on with it."

"Robert, I want things to change. I'm unhappy-I can no longer deny it or pretend."

Robert boiled on the inside. "Have I really made you that unhappy?"

"Robert, do be serious," she said crossed to the bed and setting her hand on top of his. "I know I've made you unhappy too. I know it's both of us. God, we are so deadly."

"We are passionate, darling! There is nothing wrong with that." he said raising his voice and harshly taking his hand from under hers.

"Would you stop this lie that we told ourselves so we could live this life. Is it passionate to threaten me with ruin?"

"Oh, Cora," he said and unable to bear the thought of making her so unhappy. He placed kissed on her face, like he could make it all go away.

She pushed him away. "Kisses won't do."

He looked stunned, "Am I not enough?"

"Stop trying to blame yourself or make this situation seem trivial. Neither of us is enough for each other, not how we are together." She paused. "Will you change or not?"

He took her into her arms, shook her, and kissed her neck. "This is how we are together, my sweet Cora. Why would we change? I always want you just as you are, right now. Destroy me, my dear."

She turned her face. "No darling," she said and remembered Mary. She had to be strong for her. "I can no longer bear it. I love you and I'm sorry but destruction will only kill us in the end. I have to go then."

Cora tried to get up, but he held her down tightly. "Let me go!" she screamed and kicked at him. She was rather small and he was a sturdy man that easily over powered her.

"No, I'll never let you go. You are mine, forever, and I'll never lose you, I can't."

"You already have…" she said quietly.

Robert lifted her and throttled her repeatedly. She began to cry and yelled at him to stop over and over, if only she could get to the phone…

_To Be Continued._

* * *

_A/N #1: To be clear, I don't support domestic violence!_

_A/N #2: Robert's POV may not have been as strong as Cora's, my apologies. But Cora is my queen so I can get into her head more :) _


	7. TLC

Like F. Scott and Zelda, Chapter 7

Cora struggled under him. The phone was only on the bed, but it seemed miles away from her current position. "Robert," she said in a low voice and looked him in the eye. He never could say no to those eyes, she knew. He still had a heart underneath at all, a heart that felt for her; but a heart that had rotted.

"Darling?" he said and tears fell down his cheeks and he stopped and held her head in his arms.

"Dearest..please-I only want to call Mary." She knew he feared her calling the police more than anything-to be caught would mean he could not justify his behavior. "Let me go, please."

"I will, dearest one," he said and kissed her on the mouth as his tears fell against her mouth; she could taste his pain. He walked to the bathroom, leaving her to finally be free. Cora got up slowly and reached for the phone. "Mary, please come as fast as possible." She said hurriedly into the phone and hung up quickly.

Mary got out of bed and decided to take the car. She didn't particularly like to drive, but it was faster than taking the bus at this time of night. She wished she lived closer to her parents. Okay, it was only thirty minutes away but in these situations time was everything. She knew she shouldn't have trusted her father, how many sleepless nights she had had about another accident. But she believed her father loved her mother too much to put her life in danger again, she just wanted her parents to be happy as they once were. They were just getting worse and worse. Of course, she was proud of her mother for facing the situation and saying no. It took real courage. She just wish her mother's life wasn't in danger and that it didn't take this long for her to realize it. She had tried to talk to her mother in the past. She would just brush it off and smile, saying "be glad your parents love each other so much. Do you know how common divorce is among our friends?" Mary believed in family, but she would had rather had divorce for her mother's sake.

Mary arrived and knocked on the door of her parent's house. She brought her phone with her in case a phone call to the police was necessary. "Mary!" Cora answered the door; Robert popped up to hug her. Her parents were the best actors; Mary couldn't guess what had happened her mother called her for. "So Cora tells me a burglar gave you quite a shock? You do need your mother for something, eh?"

"A burglar?" she asked curiously and looked at her mother. She gave her a look as to suggest that she should go along with it.

"Ahh yes, a burglar. Everything's quite alright, but I do live alone and I'm quite scared."

"No worries, Mary. Your mama is ready to stay with you. She misses her little chicks."

"Yes," Cora crossed over to her daughter and linked her arm with hers. "Bye! darling."

They arrived back at Mary's apartment. It was quite big for an apartment, her mother's money made it possible to get this place; her work as a lawyer helped her keep it and she was basically self-sufficient now. "Mama, is the guest bedroom, okay?"

"Yes that'll be fine, darling." She took Cora to the guest bedroom. It was a plain room, the walls were a nice shade of white and a small bed was centered in the middle. "I should get on here. I am completely tired out." She gave a small smile.

Mary was eager to know what had happened, but looking at her mother it was as if she had been through the ringer, so she left it alone; she could wait for tomorrow.

Her mother sat on the bed. Mary went to take some blankets from a high cupboard. Cora sat on the bed, watching her. "Mary, you don't have to do that. I'm supposed to take care of you."

"You tucked me in enough times." She said coming over with the blankets and started to cover her. "It is my turn."

"A daughter isn't supposed to take care of another."

"They do in old age, if they are very good daughters."

"Are you saying something?" Cora said from under the blankets.

"Nothing, mama." she sat on the edge of the bed and grabbed her mother's hand. "What are these marks?" Mary ran her hands over her slim and reddened wrists. She looked away-she hated being reminded of Robert's cruelty by anyone but herself.

"Oh, it's nothing. Well…it's something. Tomorrow I will tell you. I'm tired." her mother said and moved to lay on her side.

"Of course," Mary said. "Goodnight, Mama," she said and placed a kiss on Cora's cheek.

She looked at her mother once more before she closed the door and turned off the light. She looked so small there, so broken, but at least Mary knew she was safe for the night. Yes, it was high time that someone took care of Cora Crawley.


	8. After All Of It

**Note: Dear Readers, Robert will start to improve shortly. After some serious mother-daughter bonding of course :D**

Robert had not slept the whole night. He paced nervously, he had let himself get out of hand again. He scared even himself. When he told Mary to give him a chance, he thought he could make good on his promise-but he just couldn't and he didn't know why. He truly didn't want to hurt Cora, he could hardly stand being away from her for one night. But something deep inside him, issues not involving Cora, made him act this way. He didn't blame anyone but himself.

Every time he went to close his eyes, he saw his hands shaking her, almost choking her, holding her against her will, forcing himself to be with him. Or he saw the night of the car accident, when he purposefully pushed her so she feel the impact of near death. "Oh God," Robert said aloud to himself. He started to pull at his hair. He poured another drink; he was almost out of whiskey (he had steadily worked through the whole bottle) as the night turned into morning. Everything will be fine, he thought. Cora is coming home tomorrow and I'll beg at her feet and she'll love me once again. He rocked back and forth, she will come back to me once again.

Mary awoke early. She wasn't going to work today. She had days saved to take off and get paid. She never used them, but today she wanted to be there for her mother, especially if her father showed up and tried anything. She peeked in at her mother, sleeping deeply before going downstairs and putting on a cup of coffee. Oh god, what was she going to do. She didn't mind stepping up at all. She planned to house Cora for as long as needed. Though her parents' house was in her mother's name, it held a lot of memories and Mary wanted to be there for her mother always. What about her father. Oh, she could really slap him. He was staying far away from them though-that was for certain. And what of the future? Her father obviously hadn't wanted to save their marriage, but did this mean divorce?

Mary began to cry. She remember when her parents were all gentleness and loved, how they used to hold each other by the glow of their Christmas trees. Mama always made Papa get a real tree, though he knew and she knew that it would be simpler to get Mama always made everything so beautiful, but no more. Oh he mother, even last night, she tried to make it beautiful, not wanting to admit to herself or anyone else how bad it is. And her father always trying to be the night, always there to protect his mother, until he chinked his own honor and behaved awfully-becoming what he thought he was after the affair, not realizing he could become knighted again by his ever forgiving wife.

Suddenly a taxi stopped in front of her apartment. It was odd, for five in the morning. "What on earth?" she said aloud spotting her father. Mary took the elevator down to meet the man. Robert was in a state, his eyes were blood shot. He looked like he had been crying and he was definitely deeply intoxicated.

"Mary!" he said loudly and came near her. "I must see Cora, darling!"

"No papa! Get back or I will call the police." He didn't seem called me. "Get back, or you'll never see mother again. I'll make sure of it." She gave him an angry glance.

"Okay, Okay. I'll get back. Thought I have little chance of seeing her again, don't I?"

"Very little," Mary answered and crossed her arms. Robert went to brush her cheek. Mary slapped him hard against the cheek.

"I've-I've let you down, Mary, I fear."

"Yes, Papa," she said turning to her side and not looking at him.

"I fear you will never forgive me, I don't deserve it. I've done things to your mother that I can't forgive myself for. I will leave you now." he said and started to walk away.

Mary turned, "Wait, Papa! Just please don't do anything stupid to yourself. Mama doesn't deserve that."

"Oh, I promise. I've caused your dear mama enough pain these last few years at least." he said with a sorrowful smile.

"Stay in the house, I'll keep Mama safe. If you go near her, I will make sure it is the last thing you do. I'm on your side and Mama's, I hope you will reconsider her offer. Though you don't deserve such a chance.

He nodded and walked on, Mary walked on.

"Mary, darling, did you go outside without a coat?" Cora was waiting for Mary in the kitchen. Mary smiled; her anger must have kept her warm, she thought. She had not even noticed it was cold on this October morning.

Cora got up and poured her coffee. Mary joined her at the counter and sat, "Did you sleep well, Mama?"

"Wonderful, darling."

Mary sipped at her coffee, "And are you strong enough to tell me what happened last night?"

She sighed and looked at Mary. "I will tell you, but first you must tell me what happened with your papa this morning."

"How did you know papa had been here?" Her mother allays knew everything, she always wondered how but ventured to guess that she would never know.

"I saw him, walking away from here when I looked out the window after waking."

"Very well, Mother. We have a deal."

Mary told her what had happened. When she described her father's state, she knew her mother wanted to be there for him and help him. She knew it hurt Cora to be away from her father. Despite all of that, she agreed with the living arrangements. Next was Cora's turn, she described what had happened the night before-how he had disappointed her by not wanting to heal their destructive relationship together, how he had held her down, how she was afraid of never getting up again. Mary's eyes turned watery, but she did not cry for her mother's sake. "Mama, why did you stay with him?"

"I've been awful to him too, Mary. I've hit him and I've got into his head, knowing what I was doing."

"All the same, Mama, he doesn't deserve you."

Cora reached for her daughter's hand, "Oh, dear Mary, maybe not, but I love him. He's the first and only man that I will ever love."

"After all he's done?"

"After all of it. The funny thing is, I know you'll call me foolish, when I look into his eyes, after the anger has left, I still see the man I loved the man who found me when I was lost. I guess that's why I stayed all these years."

Cora and Mary stain the kitchen, drinking coffee for hours. For the first time they talked as adults and talked of love. How it all went wrong, but still felt right. How it was hard to let go and harder still to hold on. How they lost sight of princes and settled for thieves that stole them in the night.

Later Robert sat in the dark in the kitchen, the loneliness infected him. He knew it was what he deserved. He blamed himself over and over, for the first time not pushing it back to make himself feel better. It was he and his actions that caused him to lose the one thing that he wanted to love truly the most. It was hard to hold onto anything, he found it hard to hold onto his convictions to not change, especially with Cora's hand clasped in his.


	9. The Wreckage

Cora woke up early, it was weird not being with Robert but kind of nice as well. It was definitely something to get used to. She liked being with Mary and spending time with her; she knew it was good for her. Cora walked down the stairs, it was still early so Mary was just about to leave for work. She was currently on the phone. "Bye, bye. See you in a few, Matthew."

"And who was that?" Cora asked, pouring herself a cup of coffee and trying to hide her smile.

"It was Matthew, just a co-worker. I'm working with him on a case.

Cora gave her a look. "Oh Mama, I wish you wouldn't look at me like that. I just with him, don't plan our wedding quite yet."

"It would be nice to see all my daughters settled."

Mary sighed and laughed, "Oh yes 'cause it worked so well for you."

As soon as the words left her mouth, she regretted them. She saw the look on her mother's face, like she had just ben stricken. "Oh Mama, I'm so sorry." She strolled up and kissed her. "I'll make it up to you, I promise."

"Oh it's nothing, darling." She gave her daughter a forced smile. "Forget it."

Mary could see that it still bothered her, wishing she hadn't said it. She said goodbye to her mother and wished her a good day.

"Mhmmm," Cora nodded and waited till Mary left to cry properly.

"Thanks for coming, Lee," Robert opened the door for his old friend. He was still in rough shape; he had stopped drinking, but still couldn't bear to get dressed or get out. All he could do is replay everything that he had ever done wrong to Cora through his head; he had several outbursts of tears.

"Robert, what is the matter?" he said pushing in and seeing Robert's appearance.

Robert led him to the couch. "Lee, you better sit down. Cora is gone."

"Why?" he asked, in his heart he knew the answer. The rumors about them ran wild and Lee, seeing them sometimes in verbal or even physical spats .

"Me. I've killed her almost twice now. I've hit her, and now I've lost her. There is nothing to blame but myself."

"Robert, what are you going to do now?"

"I don't know, I can't stay like this. For so long, I convinced myself that we were both awful to each other and that made it okay. Yes, she peeved me off about the affair and she danced with other men. I made up in my head that she had affairs, so I had an excuse to hit her at the end of the night. I loved the control, I cannot deny it. And she acted in self-defense mostly, she never tried to kill me at least." He paused, "I know no one will believe me, but I never wanted to hurt her, or lose her, I loved Cora."

Lee breathed. He was stuck on what to say. He had known Robert longer, but he had liked Cora for the ten years he had known her-after he had moved back here. He knew Robert regretted, but he also knew that the two of them could not be together, not how Robert was. "I believe you, but you cannot hope to see her how you are."

"No, Mary would not allow it." He reached for a tissue and wiped his eyes, he was on the verge of snuffling. "I would not trust myself around her. I can't go near her again."

"Is there a divorce? Do you never want to be good enough for Cora?"

"I cannot imagine my life without her, if that's what you mean. I mean look at me."

"You are a wreck," he said with a laugh. "Will you get help?"

"I need it," he said flatly.

"I will look into it for you. Maybe there's something at the hospital," he said.

"Oh yes, I forgot you were a doctor." he said wiping his eyes.

Lee jumped up, he hated seeing Robert like this, yet he was upset of all he did to Cora, whom he always respected. What Robert was saying was completely selfish, hopefully something would help him out of this mode. He never said anything about how Cora was feeling, or what Cora deserved. "Robert, I must go. I'll get back to you on a rehab program."

"Mary? Can I ask you something?" Mary was packing up her bag after a long day. She could be home to her mother around six if she hurried.

"Oh yes, of course, Matthew." she said stopping and looking to him. "What is it?"

"Well I was just wondering, how are things with your mother?"

"I feel better now that's she's living with me. She's hurting still, obviously, but I think it's good for her."

He smiled, "the little you told me, it seems that she would be better."

"Yes you'll have to excuse me, I really have to go. I said something awful to her this morning and I have to get home."

He followed her out the door, "Do you want a ride? It would be a great deal faster than taking the train or the bus."

"Why, thank you. You're too kind."

They got into his car and drove on, till they arrived at the front of her apartment building. "The thing is Mary, that I was wondering if you'd like to go to dinner sometime?"

"That's kind, Matthew," she said. "But I do have my hands full, but I promise to think about it, Goodnight."

Mary finally made it through the door. "Mama! Mama!" she yelled.

"Mary, I'm only right here," she said from the couch with the remote in her hand. Mary joined her on the sofa; Cora clicked off the television. "How was your day?"

"It was fine, I feel just awful about what I said. And I thought all day about you."

"That's sweet, Mary," Cora said shuffling uncomfortably.

"Have you not been out of the house all day?" she said, looking down at her mother in a baggy t-shirt.

"No, I fear I'm not ready," she answered.

She pulled up her mother. She had been wallowing for her few days, but she had thought about it all day at work; she was going to take her mother out. "We are going out and you are going to look beautiful."

"Mary, I don't think I'm ready." Cora said following her up the stairs.

"You've lived with daddy, you've lived that life. Now depending if he improves himself, you will get back together and I hope for it I really do. But just try to embrace this. You must heal to, Mama."

"Okay, Mary," she said and followed her to Mary's bedroom. Mary insisted on picking the dress for Cora to wear. It was a light blue number that matched her eyes almost exactly. It scooped at the neck and went down to her ankles, showing off her slim hips and her great figure. She looked almost goddess like. Mary quickly through on a much shorter red dress that fell loose on her body. "Are we ready?" Mary said, as her mother was in a dream-like state and staring into the mirror.

"I think so," her mother said with a smile, unsure of what nightlife without Robert would be like, a tad less unpredictable. And underneath all of the feelings, regrets, and longings she had for Robert, she was a bit excited to see what would come. Not just tonight, but the rest of her life. She had always had a pattern, a role to play, a sick cycle to be in. Now she was able to do anything but settle for what she had known. She looked at Mary. She thought how alike they looked, but how different they really were. How she lived her life and how her happiness always came first, she only hoped that one day she could reach the same thing for herself. To not give up her reflection for herself, Cora wanted to be the image that she admired most.


	10. A Night Out

"So this is your favorite bar?" Cora said as they sat down at one of those small tables that you have to hoist up onto. "Oh my I haven't been this high up in awhile."

"Do you approve? I know it's not as fancy as some of the bars and clubs you frequent."

"Oh it'll do, darling, I can fit in everywhere. I can't stand these tables."

"Oh mama, these tables are great. You can study people."

"I guess that's neat," she said offhand. She was eyeing couples on their first dates or maybe their fiftieth, whatever it was-they were happier than Cora was.

"So how are you?" Mary asked.

"Darling, let's not talk about me, so what about this Matthew?"

"Oh god, we need a drink before we discuss it. What will you have?"

"Mhmm, a vodka martini will be fine."

Mary came back and her mother the drunk and sat down, "Okay fine, I confess Matthew asked me out tonight."

"How wonderful!" Cora said with excitement. Mary was not old by any definition, but she was the only daughter unmarried. She knew Mary was very self-absorbed and happy how she was, but having her settled would make her very happy.

"Please I didn't say yes."

"Do you not like him?" she said and tok a drink.

"I do…I just." She shot her mother a look. "I don't feel right being happy and in love when you're miserable."

"Mary, don't make yourself miserable on my account. Seeing you happy would make me happy. Plus I won't be this miserable forever, I hope."

"Alright, mama. I don't intend to accept, not now. I want to take care of you."

Cora drained her drink, "Just never let me be an excuse for you not to be in love. I still believe in it, you know."

Mary smiled, "I won't. Now let's have fun, I'll get us more drinks.

Hours passed, both Mary and Cora were pretty well gone. Cora felt happy for the first time. Yes it was alcohol-induced, but it was something. She knew if anybody was in her mind right now, they would call her stupid for missing Robert. After twenty plus years of marriage, you don't quit loving the man over night even if he was awful. He was an addiction. Mary was dancing with a man. Cora sat sipping her drink in her own littler world. She skipped out of the bar, and headed to the bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror, laughing at her intoxicated state. She ran her fingers through her hair; she still felt beautiful for her age. She stepped outside, hoping to find someone with a cigarette. Mary didn't allow her to smoke in the apartment; she was itching to smoke. There was a woman with a long black sleeveless dress, smoking. She had cold eyes and a queer look about her, but Cora approached her with kindness. "Excuse me, I'm Cora Crawley, I don't know why I told you my full name, anyway, May I have a smoke?"

The woman handed her a smoke and lit once Cora had it perched in her mouth. Cora distanced herself from the women, fearing she had been to forward. "I'm sorry for bothering you, I'm not usually like this, I'm rather buzzed."

"It's alright," the woman puffed out the smoke, "have you been to this bar a lot?"

"I have not. I'm here with my daughter. It's her place. Have you been here long?"

"No, I just moved here, for a job as a police officer."

"Oh well, I was going to say," Cora said moving closer, "You didn't look familiar, I know everyone in this town."

"You don't know me."

"Well, we will soon know each other. Come and sit with me indoors," she said putting out her smoke and waiting for the woman at the door.

"That's my daughter, Mary, see her dancing there," Cora pointed as she sat close to the women. "Could I get you a drink?"

"No, thank you. I'm fine."

Cora found her a little odd, but like her company. Devoting herself to her children and family, she gave him much, moving away from everyone she knew and all her friends. Her friends were now friends of her husbands and the others from charity work, they were never deep or personal.

An older man approached their table. If Cora wasn't drunk and desiring closeness, she would have had rejected him. And wanting to dance, she accepted his offer to dance. It was a slow dance, she pressed against him.

"You are rather beautiful, has no one asked you to dance?" he asked

"No, I rather think I'm all washed up, never to be loved again.

"No, your eyes are like sapphires that would entice any man," she looked up at him, as if looking up at a god.

"Oh stop," she said. The funny thing is that he looked just a bit about Robert, or maybe she was imagining it. To be held so close and gently, she didn't want to stop her imaginings-it was all she wanted. "Oh, Robert," she said softly before she noticed him trying to feel her up. "What do you think you are doing?" she said softly but harshly as she tried to get away. He held her until the woman, who Cora was acquainted with my spirit if not by name, came up behind him, "Take your hands off her, I will have you arrested." she fibbed.

"Fine," he said turning away and loosening his grip. Cora gave him a push and away, led by her new friend.

"I wonder where my daughter got to. I really don't feel much like being here anymore." Cora said fighting tears. It's not that she was surprised that this had happened. It had happened a million times in her youth and even when she danced after her kids had flown the coop. But it was different now, she wasn't jolly anymore-she was down on her luck.

"Her she is." the woman said.

The unnamed women filled Mary in what had happened; Mary could see that her mother was a little shaken and ready to go, "Oh thank you for being there for her. I'll take her home now. Do you want anything?"

"No. I'm just glad she's okay. You never know what kind of people are lurking about."

Mary nodded. "What is your name?" Cora asked as they walked out together.

"Sarah."

"I'm such a frightful drunk. I didn't even think to ask earlier.

"Nevermind that."

"Call me, my number….Mary's number is in the book," she said as Mary led her to a cab. Sarah nodded and disappear as Cora walked away.

"Mama, I'll brew up some tea. I'll bring it up to you."

"Thank you, darling." She said with a weak smile and ran upstairs to her room.

Minutes later, Cora was joined by her daughter. "I'm sorry I took you out tonight. I thought it would help."

"Don't apologize to me. If I wasn't so broken up about everything. I would have laughed at him."

Cora took a drink of tea, "The truth is I wouldn't be so upset if he didn't have a likeness to Robert. It was my fault, really. Me and my stupid fantasies. Your papa did once treat me well, indeed. I hope for those days, though no hope should be found seeing how things are. I just want him to look into my eyes and see sapphires instead of cold chunks of ice that he has to chip away. But as it is, it was just a fantasy, I was rudely awoken from.

"Mama, it will get easier," Mary said. "I know it doesn't feel like it now."

"Will it?" Cora said putting down her cup and turned over to lie down. Mary left silently, brushing her fingers through her mother's hair before she went.

The image of oneself was hard to reach when it was lying in a mirror that hadn't been looked into for years-no matter how much Cora wanted to see her reflection. It would take time for the present. She wanted something more-the fantasy, the reality was to disappointing for words on that starlit night. She was not quite ready to let it go, not yet.

* * *

**Note: Robert will make small appearances for awhile. More Sarah/Cora friendship and Mary/Cora. Also Cora/happiness :) **

**Spoiler: Edith's coming to town next chapter :D**


	11. Edith's Visit

Cora woke up the next morning with a ghastly headache- not that she couldn't remember thinking of the life that she wanted with Robert. Even since, she left Robert that's all she thought about. Though Mary could do her best to cheer her up and for moments she even succeeded, she couldn't shake the now tragic love that she had for him. After all, their relationship was about obsession, obsession with the idea of each other. It couldn't just go away; it consumed her-she knew it was wrong to desire him in a way even now. She was having major withdrawal symptoms, but she had ween herself off of him. She was disappointed it was taking longer than she had hoped and was more painful than she could have imagined. She continued on, nevertheless.

She woke out of bed and went downstairs, determined to get some coffee to lessen her hangover. There was a little in with the other mail, she noticed. It must have been from yesterday; Cora never went through the mail, knowing it wasn't hers because nobody knew she lived here now. But on the front, she recognized her husband's hand. It said "My Dear Cora," and she went on to open it, then read it:

_Darling,_

_You won't believe how much I miss you. Words cannot convey. Once you get this letter, I will be in a treatment center for my drinking and aggression issues that I projected on to you in the most horrible way. My dear, how I wish I listened to you. The moment you walked out of the door and I was left alone, I knew I was a fool. I couldn't see what a mess we were in till you forced me to step out of it. And I thank you for it. My regret for everything I've done to you is enough to burden me for the rest of my days. I don't expect you to forgive me, what I've done to you is past forgiveness and sympathy. Maybe I'm wrong to believe to dream-no to hope that I can deserve your love. God knows I never deserved you but neither can I say that I've given up on us. I'm fighting to better myself, so that I can be better for you. I will fight for centuries, if only I can clasp your hand in true love at the end of it. What you've given me and the love that you've given me is the only true victory of my life. I want to change for you to regain what I've lost. To take this series of battles, surrender myself, end this internal war, and come home to you once again_

_Always,_

_Robert_

_P.S. I am out of the house for at least two months-till Christmas probably. Lee can you keep you informed about me, I will not write again for fear of annoying you and getting in the way of your new and better life.. You may prepare the house for Edith's arrival without fear of running in me. Tell Edith I love her. _

Cora pulled away from the letter with tears in her eyes. She was overjoyed that Robert was getting help for himself, but also that he was doing what Cora wanted him too-for the good of the both of them. It meant that just possibly they had a future together that he didn't cast her off for his own delusions. And it meant what she wished wasn't a fantasy, that could be a distant reality. But Cora, being sentimental but practical, knew that she couldn't her hopes up too high. Getting better and healing didn't always work and sometimes it just worked for a little while. And just because he might get better didn't mean that they're relationship would be completely fixed. But through all her doubts, she did smile.

Days passed and Mary helped Cora get ready for Edith's arrival. Mary noticed a change in her mother ever since that letter from her papa. She guessed that he had went to seek help; she didn't pry. Mary was glad, but also skeptical. Whatever it was, Cora seemed to get out of her slump and it was a joy to see. She was so excited for Edith and Anthony to come, along with their two children. Mary would stay for the weekend and go back Sunday night, she did have a job to do. Her mother loved playing with Anthony Jr. and Martha, Mary not so much. She missed Edith dearly as well (though they did enjoy a good argument), Edith was a natural mother and took after Cora.

They finally arrived. Cora welcomed them into the house. "Edith, my dear," Cora hugged her daughter. "And Anthony, how are you?" Cora said kissing him on the cheek.

"Very well, I see your injury hasn't take away from your charm."

Cora smiled, "You're too kind, I am a trooper though."

Mary came and hugged her sister, "Dear Edith, I have no one to quarrel with when you are gone. Only in the courtroom."

"Then we shall have to make the most of it in the next few days."

"And Anthony nice to see you again, where at the children?" Mary asked.

"There in the car asleep, I'm afraid. You will be denied the pleasure of seeing them together."

"Oh how sad," Cora said.

"Speaking of-Mama may you show me their room? I can put them down then the four of us can talk."

"Sure, I hired a woman of all trades to assist us. It's been awhile since I played the mother. She will help this week. I'm sure you want to get away."

"That's very kind. I will play the mother for this night at least, she said.

Cora expected nothing less and smiled with pride, "Of course."

After Edith had laid them down, she joined Mary, her mother, and her husband for tea.

"Is the room alright for them?" Cora asked.

"It's wonderful," she said setting next to Anthony and setting her hand on his. Cora sat with Mary. The distinction was known.

"I'm sorry, Mama, that we didn't come right after the accident. Mary said there was no need."

"It's fine, darling. There was no need. I'm glad you have come now and you, Anthony. I could have used you as a doctor."

"He smiled, "Was the accident very bad?"

"I don't remember. Sometimes I have dreams and imagine it worse than it could have been, but it's only my active imagination. But truly, I don't remember a thing. I was unconscious for quite awhile, Robert and Mary didn't think I would make it."

"Well, you scared Edith half to death and me too."

"Kind of you to say that Anthony. So how are things?"

"Very well," Edith piped in. "Martha started preschool a little while ago. She's discovered hand paint, which is cute but messy. Oh and Anthony Jr. is taking up acting in school plays."

Cora smiled and thought of little six year old Anthony and how cute he would be, "Oh dear you must tape it us-I mean me. Those things are so darling."

Edith smiled, "We will, where is papa?"

Mary gave Edith a look. She told her that she would tell her later, but Edith had always had a hunger for her curiosity being satisfied in public, especially when it involved Mary. Cora stayed silent, not sure what to say. But knowing that she had to say something. No she could not stay silent, she had to face it and tell her daughter. "He's gone to get help. He'll be around, when you come for Christmas of course. But for now, we are spending time apart."

"Oh, Mama, I'm sorry for you. I didn't know you were having such problems."

"Worse than you can imagine," Cora said not unraveling all the details just now.

They stayed chatting for awhile. Cora and Anthony went to bed, while Mary and Edith stayed up and opened a bottle of champagne.

"I told you, I would tell you about papa later, why would you hurt mama like that?"

Edith scoffed, "I thought papa had gone away on business, maybe he's gotten a job since I visited. Anyway, I admire Mama for speaking of it. You know she's stronger than you give her credit for."

"She wouldn't have spoke, if you didn't force it. I'm doing a good job trying to help her move on, experience the single life, not to remind her of the one that she used to have."

"I'm sorry, but I don't see how ignoring something happened helps her situation any. I will stay out of it, but did you ever think of what mama wanted, not what you did?

Mary thought for a minute and realized Edith was right, even though she would never admit it aloud. In bed, she thought of what she said. Mary was treating herself as much as she was treating her mother, but they weren't the same. Cora did not want Mary's life, just like Mary did not want hers-not exactly-even when it was going well. She turned over once more, determined to talk to her mother about it tomorrow.


	12. Female Bonding

Mary woke up and smelled breakfast. She went downstairs and found her setting the table, while the hired woman was cooking. "Good morning, Mary," Cora said with a smile.

"Good morning, mama," she said. "Where are Edith and Anthony?"

"I let them sleep in," Cora said sitting down.

Anthony Jr. and Martha sat in the sitting room glued to the tv. They were oblivious to everything, which is what Mary wanted right now. "Mama, I've been wondering if I'm doing this right- I mean the whole thing with moving in with me, taking you out. Is it helping?"

Cora sighed, "I need to be exposed, but I believe that is your lifestyle, not mine. I'm a natural wife and mother- I know you think I'm rather stupid."

"As long as you choose it and it makes you happy. I see nothing wrong and I'm not anything but grateful to you for everything."

"As I respect your choices not to marry and support yourself."

"Thank you, mama. I will step back a bit and let you handle your affairs. I'll always be there for you though. Will you stay here while he's gone?"

"I think so, I don't see why not, you don't mind, do you?"

"Of course not, you should be able to stay in your house," Mary said as Martha came up to Cora "Grandmama is it time for breakfast?"

"Past time!" Cora said with enthusiasm. She was really a natural, Mary thought. "Go wake up your parents up, then we can eat." Martha, along with Anthony Jr., ran up the stairs."

"Mama, what will you?" Mary said, helping her mother dish out the food."

"I don't know your father seems to seeking help. I've been thinking I should date, just to see."

"Date?" Mary said shocked.

"Yes, your father will always be my first choice, but if that's not to be, I at least want to see what is out there. My whole life has been your father, maybe he's not the only man I could love, maybe someone else is out there for me. I don't enjoy being alone. As you say I'm different from you, I've always had money and independence. For me that was never enough, I've always wanted children, a husband, and a family. This single thing won't sustain me, with or without your father in my life. If he's changing, maybe I should shake things up a bit."

"I hope you know what you are doing," Mary said with a sly smile.

Sunday night came and everyone was out besides Cora. She had plans though, Sarah had finally called her and they decided to have a lady's night in. Mary and Edith had went out together. Anthony had gone to see his old friends with the children. It was refreshing to be alone in her house, nobody fussing over her. They didn't understand how strong she was.

The doorbell rang. "Hello Sarah, please do come in. So nice to see you again," she said kissing her on the cheek. "I'm quite sober too."

"Wouldn't matter to me," she said as Cora invited her to set on the sofa. "Cigarette?" she asked.

"Oh you are so good to me," Cora said lighting it. "I'll be able to smoke when I move back here."

"You're not living with your daughter?"

"Not anymore, my husband is out of the house for two months so I can stay."

"Are you divorced?"

"No separated for now," Cora said puffing out.

"Will you get back together with him?" Cora asked meeting her eye.

"I don't know if he improves himself; if we can truly love each other again without destroying each other."

"Is there a chance of that?"

"Oh yes, I think so. I always have hope."

"I hope he will treat you well in the future."

"Dear Sarah, I shall have you protect me," Cora said and grabbed her hands. The talk between the two women flowed naturally. Since Sarah had saved her that night, Cora had felt a connection with her. And Sarah had felt a certain need to protect her. She would not fail Cora the way that she did her brother. Cora thought Sarah was very direct in her her speech but her eyes never betrayed what she really felt. Still, there was an honesty there. Sarah thought Cora very open, almost too trusting, but also systematically guarded at times. She had clearly went through something, as Sarah did, but her reaction to it was something that Sarah admired-a reaction that Sarah could never have.

As the night went on, they enjoyed bottles and become quite drunk. It always made for the best talks, Cora found. It was only then that Sarah opened up to a little bit and she found something out about her new friend. "So why did you come here?"

"My brother, my favorite brother died. He was shot in the streets. These things happen. I could have protected him; I was supposed to go with him, but I had a shift to work. I blame myself. Every time I walked through those familiar streets I thought of him; I had to leave so I came here. He still follows me."

"Dear Sarah, you can't possibly have done anything."

"I'll always think I could have," Sarah said taking a swig.

They worked their way through a bottle and opened another, "I'm curious, what is your husband like?"

"He's quite handsome, fearfully at least to me. He has such a boyish face, maybe not a boyish figure. Did you ever have a lover?"

"Not me, not much anyway. I'm quite a queer bitch. Do you still love him?"

"Oh, I think I'll always loved him, though he's been frightful. Women are fools once they tasted love. They always desire to reclaim that first bite, when everything was new and perfect."

"I'm glad I've never done that then," Sarah said laughing and Cora laughed too.

"Say are you quite tired? Come join me in bed. The house is quite full, or else I'd make you up a room. Cora led upstairs. "Plus I can tell you all about how Robert fucked me in it. Oh, I do miss a good fuck." They both rang with girlish laughter.

Cora and Sarah went to bed feeling very light. Cora hadn't felt this free since Robert had held her gently in his arms, holding her like porcelain-before he broke her. She felt beautiful and unafraid in that bed that was once the setting of an argument gone wrong. With Edith and company in tow and her new friendship with Sarah, she felt happy and warm. She even went to bed, without thinking about Robert. Instead she thought of the possibilities for her future.

Meanwhile, Mary and Edith sat in a bar enjoying a meal. "I'm so glad we can sit down like this, Mary," Edith said as she cut into her chicken.

"It's quite nice, yes."

"How long has it been since you've been on a date?"

"Oh a few years, I'm thinking about getting a cat."

"Mary don't quarrel with me, when I'm trying to make nice. It's just that I can sense there is someone."

"There is, I suppose, but what does that matter?"

Edith sipped her drink, "It matters a great deal, if you really like him."

"I suppose so, I don't know how I feel myself." Mary said, taking a sip of her champagne.

"You know you can marry," Edith said.

"I said I would never marry."

"Yes to prove that you were not me."

"That's not true completely, plus look at mama, I'm not sure if I believe in the institution."

Edith laughed, I don't think the institution is to blame by any means." She quickly added, "Mama would be quite happy with it."

"Oh Edith, you know I'm quite selfish, I don't care unless I'm happy with it."

"You could always have both, I do," she said eyeing her wedding ring.

The Crawley women were all thinking of their future plans that night; the ones that would make them happy. Leaving the past pleasures behind them and desiring to try out new ones-the ones that could bring a healthy change into their lives; while Robert was hoping be a part of them.

* * *

**Future stories**

**Ch. 13: Cora's date.**

**Ch. 14: Thomas+Sarah+Cora = awesome. **

**Ch. 15: Christmas! Robert/Cora**


	13. A Date Ends in Tears

Edith and the clan had gone, but Cora felt more fulfilled than she had in the past two months. For awhile, she hid away from everything. She thought everything died with Robert. But she had risen from the ashes and been reborn as her own full person. She had found Sarah to be one of the truest friends she had and wouldn't had the chance to know her if she was with Robert. Though the hole that Robert left was not filled and maybe never would, she had the courage to live again. Today, she was having lunch with Lee. She hadn't wanted to see Robert directly, but she still had a deep regard for him. She always liked Lee and he kept her informed. She especially wanted to know about Robert, since it was only a few weeks till he came home for Christmas.

Cora took a sip of her tea, as the two sat in a small restaurant, "So how has Robert been these past two weeks?"

"He's much better, he's completed the alcoholic program. Although I don't think that's his major problem."

"No I never thought so, what is it then?"

"His guilt about you, his anger, his many emotional issues."

"What are you suggesting?" she asked, with a questioning eye glance.

"I think you should see him, Cora" he said sweetly.

"It's only a few weeks till he comes home 'round Christmas."

"Cora," he said staring into her eyes, "you know you're the only reason he goes on."

"So I should drop everything and run to him because it suits him now? No, I've done that."

"No but-"

Cora continued, "I may be foolishly in love with him, I may always love him. I can't deny seeing him on Christmas will be the greatest present. But where was he when I needed him, how I wanted him to be?"

"I understand, but you are an important part to his healing-do you plan to stay with him?"

"He needs to get better for himself, as I have for me. I don't want to talk about this right now. Excuse me." she said rising up gracefully and walking out. Cora truly didn't know what she wanted, but she knew she wasn't going to drop everything to help Robert. She was going out tonight with Phillip and she was going to enjoy it. The emotions about Robert-she had pushed them too far back. She didn't know how she would react when Robert came back, but it was so separate from the existence that she had been enjoying for the past couple months that she didn't want it come to the front.

"It's nice to be out of doors, isn't it?" Lee said to Robert as they walked on the pavement to one of Robert's favorite restaurants.

"Oh yes better than eating the food there or walking the grounds," he answered.

Technically Robert was allowed to leave for a few hours, but he usually didn't feel up to it. But Lee thought that after hearing Cora didn't want to see him, it would be nice to go out. It's true that he didn't have much sympathy for Robert at the beginning, but he had possibly the only friend that stayed with him and saw the changes for himself. He was not easily deceived. He didn't expect Cora to jump into his arms exactly, but he didn't think she or he would be happy spending a life apart, even after all the problematic issues that they had gone through.

It was true that Robert was glad to be out, but he'd hope Cora would agree to see him. He wanted to apologize to her profusely. But Lee had asked and Cora had other plans that night. He made up a quick lie about where she was, which Robert didn't question because he seemed so guarded about it. Either way he didn't want to know, whether she was lying or telling the truth, she didn't want to see him.

They entered the restaurant. It was one of his favorite; he went there often with his friends. It was big enough to be hidden, but not to crowded. Robert and Lee sat in an obscure table in a corner and ordered. Robert had missed their cheeseburgers; he hadn't had a decent one for two months. They were sitting around, the way friends do when all that conversation has run out, but still enjoying each other's company.

Just then Cora walked in, he saw her. She looked like a dream. Robert noticed she looked dazzling, as if she wasn't quite real. She was wearing a olive green dress that cut tight across her bosom and flowed loosely on her slim body. She was a dream that sparkled amongst the small lights that littered the restaurant. Phillip came in behind her, wrapping his arm around her and the dream ended. "So that's it then, she's moved on," Robert said flatly, inside he was breaking.

"You didn't expect her to join the nunnery, did you?"

"No I did not. I just wasn't expecting this. Did you know about about this?"

"No I didn't."

"Do you think I'm still allowed for Christmas? Or will he take his place?"

"Don't jump to conclusions. We should go." Lee said rising. Robert followed him and Lee drove him back to the treatment facility. Robert's head was running wild. He handled himself well; he was proud of himself for that. If it was the old him, he would have gone on about how he wanted to possess her and nobody else could touch her. It wasn't that he wanted Cora to welcome him with open arms, just that he would have a chance to show her how much he had changed-that he was a good man, someone that she could love again without being afraid. Maybe she had moved on and found a better man. He wanted Cora to be happy with or without him. God knows he made her miserable long enough.

"Robert, don't fret too much. I know how you are. Don't undo everything you've done."

"I'll be fine, Lee. Don't worry me," Robert said with a smile as he exited his car.

He lay in his bed that night, he realized so many things had changed. Not until tonight, did he realize that the world didn't adjust to him. Considering he wasn't good at adjusting and rarely did it, this didn't come as quite as big as a shock. What he was desiring was perfect alignment of his and Cora's needs. He looked up at the sky through his small window; he looked at the stars that looked so close, but were really so far apart. That was he and Cora. He rolled over, desiring Cora to be there and close him, knowing it was as unlikely that it would ever happen.

Cora was nervous, inside she was shaking-even a bit outwardly. She hadn't dated for nearly a quarter of century, then only Robert. Phillip was smiling at her. "I'm nervous too. I haven't dated since she left me, you know."

"I'm glad I'm not the only one," Cora said and took a sip of her water, "And that we are friends."

"Say," he said and leaned closer to her, "Why don't we just dance, like we used to?"

"That sounds nice," she said. During dinner, she was still capable of charming a man. She was surprised how easy it was, as he laughed with her and gave her glances. She enjoyed it, it was light and easy. They kept off the unpleasant topics. They didn't need to talk about the things that hurt them the most-it was an almost mutual pain, it was understood.

Later he and she danced like they used to, doing what they had done before, but in a new way that Cora adapted with ease. She had a knack for that. For getting herself into situations, and finding her way into the groove of them. "I love this song," she said and leaned on him. He stroked her back, "me too," he said.

After spending the night dancing, Cora couldn't say that she didn't feel nothing at all. She always like going out and enjoyed dancing. She felt safe in his company. But he felt a great deal more than she did. He drove her home and walked her to the door. "This was a lot of fun," he said.

"Yes it was, promise to listen to that record." she said with passion."

"I will, maybe we can go dancing again?"

"I'd like that." He leaned her and kissed her. She pulled away after a little while and said goodnight; went behind the door to cry. She knew it was stupid-that Mary would say she was suffering from some complex, but she felt farther away from Robert than she ever had. Her life was everything she wished, but it was missing him. The emptiness of the house, overwhelmed her, the darkness of the house fell around her. All the emotions that she had pushed back came on her at once.

* * *

A/N: I had a lot of problems with this chapter, so if it turned out badly I apologize. I did my best.


	14. Oh, Those Suppressed Souls

Mary came over to her mother's house to help decorate the house for Christmas. Her mother always went overboard, but Mary loved it no matter what she said aloud. Things had been crazy at the office lately and she imagined Edith was right, so she stepped back from her mother's life for awhile. Cora had called her about the date, of course. "You were the one who loved Christmas the most," Cora said as she wrapped garland around the staircase.

She smiled, "Mama, you seem very happy."

"Christmas is a wonderful time. I'm still upset that Sybil cannot make it, but Edith is coming and you will be here. "You are coming to the party next week?" her mother asked. Mary wasn't stupid enough to believe that her date had gone very well-that while she was happy to have her friends and family around her at Christmas, but who she was looking forward to the most was her husband. It had been three months, she couldn't remember her parents ever being separated for longer than a fortnight. While Mary did not quite understand why her mother continued to feel for him, she accepted it-as long as he had turned decent. She wouldn't say anything about it, not yet.

"Yes, I would be a fool to miss your parties. It's the 23rd right?"

"Yes, and you're welcome to bring someone."

"Mama," Mary rolled her eyes.

"Mary, you're welcome to come alone, I would just hate to see you bored, our friends are scarcely under one hundred."

"Oh you always catch me like this," Mary sighed. She remembered the last few years; they were torture. She spent the evening trying to get away from men that were as old as her father and had no interesting conversation. Mary had been working a lot with Matthew and they often went on coffee breaks or out for drinks after a long day. She would think about inviting him (it was obviously her mother's aim). Boredom was not something she wanted to live through this holiday.

After they had finished, Cora was left alone. Since her date about a week ago, she was more confused than ever-now that she realized her new way of life (dating, sleeping alone, and going out friends) was not satisfying to her, that it failed her. That no matter how many dances or drinks or great conversations that nothing replaced the effect that Robert had had on her for nearly a quarter of a century. As the days passed, she was getting more anxious about Robert coming home and what it would bring. She knew he was almost a changed man. She knew he had done what she asked. She, who so desperately wanted to give him a chance, should feel comfortable giving him another go around. But it didn't help that she dreamt of the accident increasingly lately-of him, pushing her and crashing with a purpose. There was no love in his eyes then. Whether a thing of her inner fears and demons surfacing or the truth, she was cautious. Not to mention that she didn't want to revert back to running back into his arms, even though her love for him was larger than anything else for her, knowing that he could become what he had been. She didn't think she could recover again. To say the least, Cora Crawley was conflicted. She didn't know if she could heal from the past or if her lack of faith in change would let her.

Later that week, Cora went out with Sarah as she usually did quite often.

"Cora, this is Thomas," Sarah introduced her new friend.

"Nice to meet you, Thomas," Cora said and held out her hand; he kissed it. They all sat down at a booth, close to the bar. It was quite busy, so they resolved to get drinks later. Cora took a cigarette out and put it to her mouth. She rifled through her bag, but couldn't find a light.

"Want a light?" he asked with snarky. She nodded and accepted.

"Thank you," she said with a kind smile. "Your welcome to come to my Christmas party, if you're around."

"You should come," Sarah chimed in. "There must likely to be fireworks, with her husband coming home."

"Dear Sarah," Cora said, feeling a bit uncomfortable at Thomas knowing all this so soon.

"Where has he been? War?" Thomas said and blew out smoke.

Sarah patted Cora's hand and spoke for her, "No, you noodle. He was very mean to Cora. He went away to get help." Thomas eyed Cora. When Sarah, the odd woman, he had met when she walked into the shop he was working, he heard about her friend Cora. She didn't say much, but from what he told her she accepted to find the generic rich women that thought she was superior, but she was different. She was broken, and he was interested in her. He saw himself in her when she looked down, suppressing so many emotions so that she didn't show too much, so that she wasn't cast as a victim.

Thomas put out his cigarette, "A drama I'm not a part of, I'm always there."

"I still think you shouldn't give him to the time of day after how he treated to you," She said. Cora smiled gently, _that was what everyone was telling her. _Sarah went to get a round of drinks, Cora smiled kindly at Thomas.

"You still love him, don't you?" he said looking down.

Cora was shocked that he picked up on something was trying to hide-that she thought she could hide. "Everyone acts as if I have I have a choice. But is there? There's no expiration date, even if the whole thing has gone bad. He just sits in the back of my mind and I think of what could have been. I'm not ready to chuck it out." Cora put another cigarette to hr mouth and Thomas lit it. He thought of Edward, the dead man that he had loved, but could never told for fear of rejection. All the men he loved, alive or dead, haunted him. He never got the courage to tell them and it was the deepest regret he known. This woman, whom he just met, put his feelings into words so truthfully.

Thomas looked at her, "I don't know what he did; I can guess. But forget what everyone else is saying, forget about making him happy or giving him up to get back at him. Not everyone has the chance to love who they want to. If you have that chance and don't take advantage of it, it isn't fair to the rest of us."

"What do you mean, darling?" she said as Sarah came back with a round of whiskey.

"Nevermind," he said and took a swig of his drink. Wondering what came over him to share these things with her, he stepped out.

Later that night, Cora tossed and turned in her bed. The awful truth was that she knew exactly what Thomas was talking about earlier that night. She laughed at the thought that he knew her better than even her daughters. Edith who loved Anthony, and knew that love didn't stop, didn't understand. And Mary didn't understand how she could love a man that hurt her so. Cora realized how silly she was, but Thomas seemed to understand that love was more than her daughters knew and its binding effect was powerful. She thought back to how she tortured him with Jane, how she used her as an excuse to push him further and further away from her. Maybe her crimes were;t as bad; they were deliberate and meant to hurt him. She honestly didn't know if she could forgive him. She knew her heart would allow it, but she knew that her mind wouldn't let her love him unless under the right circumstances. She turned off the bedside lamp, realizing that all her inner conflicts could not be solved tonight. It was only a few days now, she thought, she could get some answers from her then and decide what to do once and for all.

* * *

OMG so I typed this chapter last week and thought I uploaded it, but I did not. I'm so sorry! I'm an idiot, I hope you enjoy it! Thank you for the followers/favorites/reviews :)


	15. Coming Together Again, Part 1

Robert packed his last bag and waiting for the hired car. So close to the holidays, Lee couldn't be spared. He looked in the mirror, he looked about the same as when he came here about three months ago. Although the tired wrinkles on his face and his blue eyes, and thinning hair remained the same, he was a bit more put together than when he first came. He remembered how he looked then: slightly hungover with a haggard appearance, visibly upset; he didn't have much to live for at that point. But there was always one thing that kept him going, Cora. A name never sounded so lovely to him; he uttered the name like a prayer. As long as she was in the world and had some degree of love and care for him, he worked to get better. But as time went on, he realized that he had to get better for himself too—living for another person was not fair to Cora or himself. And he did. The work wasn't finished, of course, he would continue to go to therapy; he hoped in time that he and she could go together.

After seeing her with Phillip last week, Robert was shaken and scared she had to move on. She had the right to, of course. But love is a kind of mental illness that can't be cured by psychiatrists;and Robert, after a period of sadness, told himself that Phillip didn't matter right now. He just wanted to see her and go from there. If she had moved on, he would do his best to accept it.

The car pulled up and he got in. He knew he wouldn't get Cora alone much tonight. It was the night of her Christmas party. Everyone in good society attended; it was the one party that could not be missed. If you did, you would be a social outcast till next year. As glad as he was about Christmas, there was one present that he didn't want to give Cora—that was he had to tell Cora the truth about the night of the car accident. He agreed with his therapist that he had to tell her, a secret like this couldn't be buried between them anymore. He just feared, quite rightly too, that Cora would leave him. He couldn't blame her, but that didn't mean he was quite ready to tell her. After coming so far, it seemed that his wish to be with Cora and give her the relationship she deserved, was torn away by one force or another.

Xxxx

The doorbell rang at the Crawley house. "Oh gosh, Edith? Can you make sure he puts the star on absolutely straight?"

"Why do I have to?" Edith said, holding Martha in her arms.

"Just do it, you know how mother is about these things," Mary said and went to the door. There were so many last minute adjustments to do and her mother had just left with Sarah to get her dress from the dry cleaner's—an hour and a half earlier. Her mother's actions were quite chaotic today. She opened the door and saw her papa. She couldn't help hugged him, despite herself. "Papa, come in," she said and ushered him in. Robert could barely find a place to be, without being moved by all the people setting up for the party.

"Dear god, your mother went all out this year," he said, looking around.

"Oh yes, nothing she does is on the cheap," Mary said. Edith came up to them, "Dear Papa," she said and squeezed his hand. Robert kissed it gently.

"My darling daughter, how good to see you!"

"I hope you've improved yourself and won't cause too much trouble."

"I will do my best to be worthy of my daughters and your mother; I will not bother her," he said just realizing that he would have to rebuild his relationship with his daughters as well.

Mary broke in before Edith could make more comments about the touchy subject that obviously effected her father, "Papa let me show you to your room."

"Oh yes, of course," he said following her. They headed up the large staircase. "Mama has put you in the third room to the right from hers. I'm beside you. Edith, Anthony, and her spawn are housed in the next floor up, so we an sleep at night.

Robert opened the door. The room seemed cold and dark, compared the space he used to share with Cora. Mary followed him in and sat on the bed. A few minutes, Robert joined her. He was trying very hard not to tear up. It seemed weird being here. At the rehab center, he felt the distance because he was quite far away from her. Here, it was more noticeable somehow.

"So papa, how are you?" Mary asked, "really?" she asked after a moment.

"I'm better than most, not as good as some."

Mary frowned, "Are you quite well?"

"If you're afraid I've come here to hurt your mother, I'm quite past that. I'm not as destructive as I was. I'm going to therapy still after the holidays."

"Good," she said and patted his hand. "I will leave you now, let you get ready for the party," Mary walked to the door and closed it behind her, then leaned against the wall. _Her father was not home, not truly._

XxxX

"Sarah?" Cora asked, standing her stockings, underwear, and bra. "Could you help me get into this thing?" she said.

Sarah quickly put on her black dress that had a line of white fabric at the top. It fit very much like a t-shirt. Though the women were close, what clothes they liked were radically different.

"Yes," she said and crossed the room to Cora, who handed her the elaborate dress. It was a brilliant white color, it went down to her ankles, and had transparent white fabric that covered her upper arms.

"Sometimes I think I should dress like you. All you thinks are so simple to put on, no hassle." Sarah held out the dress for her to step into.

"Well I've never had to step into a dress," she moved the dress up Cora's think body and put the sleeves on her arms, making sure the fabric lay flat against her arms. She let her fingers slip for just a moment to touch her skin.

Cora looked in her vanity mirror, "I like over expensive and pretty things."

"Yes, and I like things that are more practical," Sarah said and zipped up the dress from the back.

After admiring herself in the mirror, Cora turned and faced her friend. "What do you think?" she said and let out a giggle.

"My lady," Sarah said sarcastically and curtsied.

"Oh stop," Cora said and used her hands to fluff her hair.

"You look so proper; I've never seen you like this."

"I'm more than common, I fooled you, didn't I?"

_Yes, you did, she thought._

"Shall we go down?" Cora said with a smile.

Xxxx

Robert stood next to a man, he didn't know, but who was rather chatty. He seemed to know Robert well, from where Robert didn't know. "When is your wonderful wife coming down?"

"Search me," Robert said.

"She did the room, rather beautiful this year." Robert had to agree there. The gigantic tree looked beautiful in the center. The room were all the guests were located at present area decorated in the now traditional colors, green and red; while the ballroom was done in silver and gold that looked almost heavenly. Where they would dine, was done in a lovely blue. What he had of the food was delicious, and it was an excellent turnout. The room was radiating with warmth and excitement. Christmas music played quietly in the background.

"Yes, she did rather," he said. People were standing around talking, like they do at the beginning of parties. When Cora came down, the dancing would begin, followed by a light meal. He was trying his best to stay distracted; he was already nervous and anxious to see her again. "There she is!" the man that had bugged him for a half hour said. Robert turned. His pulse quickened, as he saw her descending the stair, dressed in white. It was as if she was an angel coming down from heaven, blessing the room with her presence. He wanted to run to her and apologize, to take her hand and put a new ring on it—one that didn't remind her and him of everything that had gone wrong. He wanted to run his fingers through her hair and start all over. Cora caught his eye and smiled, his heart started beating fast. She thanked all of them for coming and most went to dance, while some sat down at a table. Robert watched her move through the room. Saying hello to her daughters and the man that Mary had brought with her. He wondered how Cora had managed that and laughed to himself. He found Cora standing alone, looking out the window, with little flakes of snow falling after a time. He didn't want to come upon her with people around, but went upon her now. He put his arms behind him and came upon him, "Cora," he said softly.

She turned. "Robert," she said almost breathlessly. "How well you look," she said with a smile and came closer to him.

"You look positively angelic," he said. "You really outdid yourself."

"Thank you," she said softly. "Say will you sit across from me during dinner? I wouldn't want people to talk. They already know, of course, but no reason to add to the rumor mill."

"Of course," Robert said, a little hurt.

"Cora!" a woman that Robert didn't know called for her.

"Dear Sarah," she said in response and started to walk away. "Excuse me," she said as an after thought to Robert.

The two girls went away from him chattering away. How he longed to be like this woman named Sarah—welcome in his wife's company and not just for presentation purposes. The night passed quite unfortunately. At dinner, Cora barely met his eye, instead talking to the people seated around her. She danced with a few men, as she always did. She usually danced with him too, but she probably made the excuse that he wasn't much for dancing and nobody noticed any difference. The night passed dully and Robert was only too glad when it ended. He stayed in an upstairs sitting room until everyone had gone to bed and went downstairs for a glass of water. He turned on the light and Cora was picking up an ornament for a tree. Several had fallen. She jumped a little when she heard him coming down, "Oh, Robert, it's only you."

He met her on the ground and helped her pick them and place them on the tree. "Thank you," she said as he handed her the ornament and his hand brushed against hers. Her pulse quickened. He held her hand for a moment. "Cora-" he began, not knowing exactly what he was going to saying, knowing that he wanted to talk to her and be with her.

"Darling, I'm tired. Everything was so perfect tonight. Can we talk tomorrow?" she said and rubbed his shoulder before letting go. She didn't wait for an answer, but ran up the stairs. She waited till she closed her bedroom door to fall apart. Robert looked so perfect tonight, in his tight-fitting pinstripe suit that he knew Cora loved. She wanted to talk to him, to run to his arms and call him darling again. Very simply, she was afraid to talk to him too much to find that he hadn't changed at all. Robert went back to his room. She seemed like a phantom he couldn't quite catch; she was too elusive—he couldn't tell what she was feeling. There was always tomorrow, he thought. Robert wished that making her feel at ease in his company was as easy as picking up an ornament and making a Christmas tree beautiful.


	16. Coming Together Again, Part 2

"Mommy, mommy! Can we open presents now?" Martha and Anthony Jr. said to Edith. It had definitely been crazy this morning, but Edith was used to it. "Mary will you go wake up mama?" Robert sat in the kitchen nook area brewing coffee. Mary went upstairs without a word, she couldn't remember being so excited when she was a child; she could have been. She just knew if everyone didn't come down soon, the children would get desperate. She knocked gently on her mother's door. "Coming, Mary," she said. She was wearing a red loose-fitting sleeveless night gown and a thin black robe.

"Where did you get that? I am wearing my one piece with penguins and you look well...not pathetic," Mary asked as they walked downstairs.

"You look fine, darling," she said patting her on the shoulder. "Children!," she said excitedly as she entered the room.

"Grandma!" she ran up to Cora to wrap herself around her long legs. "Santa came, come see." Martha took her arm and led her quickly.

"Oh! My you two must have been very good," she said and made a glance towards Edith and Anthony.

"I learned from the best," Edith said.

"Can we open presents now?" Anthony Jr. said with annoyance. "Let your grandma, get her coffee," Edith said gently.

"I've got it," Robert said and carried the cup to her.

"Thank you, darling" she said as she took it from him. They sat next to each other on the couch, with Mary beside Cora.

"Go on children," Mary said. They didn't need telling twice and started ripping into their presents. "You ever think we should ever be civilized about this sort of thing?" Anthony said to the group.

"Oh no," Mary said, "We've always done it this way as children. We can pass our presents civilized now that we are adults. Edith went to the tree, going through all the wrapping paper, and got the adult's presents. Cora watched as Edith gave Anthony n ancient-looking book and he gave her a beautiful winter jacket; he watched as he looked into his eyes and then kissed her. She watched as Mary opened her present from herself, "Oh mamma, it's beautiful," she said looking at the diamond ring and putting it on her finger. "I'll wear it always," she said giving her a kiss on the cheek. As Mary turned away, Robert said quietly, "you just wanted a diamond ring on her finger, you know you wouldn't get any other way"

"Don't tease me," she said, and added, "you've caught me, of course." Robert chuckled. He could hardly believe his luck, sitting next to Cora and laughing with her, especially after the events of last night. He thought back to it.

She had come to him as he went outside to smoke. Right off the bat, she had slapped him; he figured that wasn't a good start at all. "Damn you for making me love you," she said afterwards. He had asked "Isn't it better to love an angel than a devil?"

She answered, "I don't know whether you are an angel or a devil."

"I'll tell you I'm more angel now."

"I can't see that," she said haughtily and left him. Later at night, he knocked on her bedroom door.

"Yes?"

"You can't see an angel unless you believe, do you believe in me?"

"I want to," she said and looked him in the eyes.

"You can't see unless you give it a chance," he said.

"Fine, I do it for my own happiness not for your sake," she said.

"For now, that is enough," he said and left, letting her get back to sleep.

Cora was giving him a chance on Christmas day, what a better day to do it. She noticed a change in him, just the way he took care of her this morning. He was different, but she still knew him. He was still hers. Hours later, the children were down for a nap, along with their children. Cora had given the cook and maid the holiday off; she loved making Christmas dinner anyway. She was now dressed in leg warmers and a Christmasy green sweater. She looked over at Robert, cleaning up around the tree.

It felt like Christmas of the past to her. She thought back to their first Christmas together. They had gone to Robert's mother's home. She disapproved of Cora because she thought she had bought her son's love; she didn't complain when she got a fine necklace from Cora, oddly enough. It was most uncomfortable for Cora, but also kind of nice to have a second family in a way. At the end of the night, Robert took her on a walk and showed her all the places he used to frequent. Against the cold, they held each other and fell into each other's arms at the end of the night. The next Christmas they spent on their own. It was quite more enjoyable than the one before because Robert's mother wasn't there to pass judgment. He bought her a beautiful black dress and he bought him a snuff box to add to his collection. As night came upon them, they made love by the firelight. She remembered sitting in his arms, with just the blanket to cover her. Her shoulders were exposed and she looked at Robert, "I never thought you would love me like I love you," she confessed.

"My dear, I love you more than you can ever imagine," he said letting her fall into his arms as she giggled.

"What are you looking for, Cora?" Robert said as he came to put the wrapping paper in the trash.

"Sorry, I was just thinking of our past Christmases, do you remember our second Christmas together?"

"How could I forget?" he said and from behind put his arms around her waist. She leaned into him. "Our first Christmas together."

"Your mother would think it was quite scandalous, how we spent it," she said with a laugh and moved out of his arms. "Do you want to help me frost these cookies?" she asked. He nodded.

She got the cooled cookies from the counter and the frosting out of the cupboard. "Listen, I'm sorry I didn't get you a present. I just didn't know what would happen. I didn't think I would talk to you, I'm rather stubborn."

"Don't worry about it, you are the present. Thankful for me you are also impatient and forgiving." he said. They started frosting the cookies. Robert watched Cora; she did it so gracefully—it was all even. Cora laughed at him, as the frosting kept sticking to his fingers. She grabbed him a paper towel, which he used to wipe it off. As the time passed, Cora spoke: "Robert? You won't hurt me again?" she asked.

"No, I won't ever hurt you. I can't any longer."

"I'm so open to you right now, Robert. Just don't disappoint me. I don't think I could take it again."

"I won't give you the line you want, but I will show you in time and hope to regain your trust," he said and grabbed her hand.

"Oh Robert!," she exclaimed and went to reach the paper towels. "You really suck at being romantic," she went to wash her hands in the sink.

"Wait," he said gently and brought her hand to his mouth, kissing the frosting away. She laughed, "Nice save."

Mary and Edith came downstairs and stopped at the stairs, seeing their parents laughing and more than enjoying each other's company. "I don't think he's causing trouble, Edith," Mary said with a smile.

"No," she said with much emotion, "I think he's being very good to Mama. It's romantic, isn't it? They've been through the flames and come together through it all." she said.

"Fine, you've caught me, I'm a romantic," she said and linked herself with her sister as they went downstairs.

Hours later, the Christmas meal was upon them and everyone was in good spirits. "I'd like to propose a toast," Edith said. "I think we can say we are glad to have papa at home again, and much improved. Christmas wouldn't be the same." Everyone clinked their glasses.

"Thank you, Edith," he said. "I'm glad I am able to come back to you a different and better man. And be welcomed back into all my girls arms, but especially my darling Cora, who is more wonderful than I could say—for allowing me another chance when god knows I don't deserve it. To Cora."

"To Grandma!" Martha and Anthony echoed. Cora looked at Robert and smiled. They put on a movie after dinner and got back into their pajamas. The movie was Cora's favorite "A Christmas Story." Robert hadn't ever heard of it before he met Cora, but now it had become one of his favorites. As the movie ended, and Ralphie fell asleep with the bb gun he wished for the whole movie in his arms (a little unsafe by his standards). He watched as Cora's eyes became cloudy with tears, as the final shot of falling snow and Christmas lights moved her. She pushed stop and turned the tv off.

Mary yawned, "I'm afraid everyone is still tired, Mama." she said, looking around at Martha and Anthony Jr. asleep, as well as Anthony. Edith yawned. "It's a tiresome day, whatever you say, even with the nap." She moved to wake up Anthony. "Darling, it's time for bed." He shifted and picked up his son, while Edith carried Martha. "Merry Christmas," she whispered to her father and mother.

She told them the same back, "They are a darling little family, aren't they?" Cora said as they watched them go.

"Mhmm." Robert said and looked at Mary. "Mary, you're quite tired, aren't you?"

"Of course," Mary said catching the hint. She definitely did not want to interfere with her parents, she could tell they were desiring alone time. "Goodnight and Merry Christmas, Mary." Cora said and kissed her on the cheek.

"Same to you, Mama."

"Alone at last," Robert said and got up to put his robe back on.

"So you did have a plan?" she said as he went through the desk drawers across the room.

"I want to give you something," he said and sat next to her on the couch.

"Did you get me a present?" she asked excitedly.

"Yes," he said handing a box to her. She opened it and found a beautiful necklace. It was a silver chain with a beautiful blue crystal that matched the color of her eyes.

"It's beautiful, thank you," she said and put her arms around him.

"Let me put it on you," he said. She wrapped it across her front and he hooked it in the back. He let his fingers trail along the back of her neck. She fell back on him as he moved to lay down and wrapped his arms tightly around the middle of her torso. The only light in the room was coming from the tree. "I couldn't imagine a more perfect evening," she said, rubbing his hand that lay on her stomach.

"Oh darling, I thought I'd never be in your arms again," he said taking her hand and kissing it. They spent the night reminiscing about past Christmases. The first Christmas with children, when they didn't know what they were doing. And of course, the memorable one where Cora's mother came, and all the ones in the middle. He held her and never loosened in his grip; she never wanted him to. "Things have changed though, haven't they Robert?" she asked.

"Of course, for the better." he said and kissed her fingers.

"I don't mean all that. I mean we're not the same."

"No I suppose not, we can fall in love properly this time—without all the negativity."

"I can't wait," she said and turned onto her stomach, so that both their torsos were pressed together. He was mesmerized by her bright blue eyes that looked up at him with so much faith. She lifted her head and kissed him gently. Their lips locked together naturally, as if they were always meant to be pressed in a warm embrace. He pulled away, knowing that there would be many such times to come together like this. She laid her head on his chest, "you've given me everything I've ever wanted this night," she said softly.

"Thank god for you," he said and kissed the top of head as she snuggled closer to him. They lay in each other arms for awhile longer until they grew tired. She rose, "Darling, come to bed with me.." she said and linked her hand with his. The Christmas tree shined all night, long after they had left it. Bringing hope that anything that had such much life and love around it once can have it again. Ornaments fall, people lose their way, but can find a way to come together and be beautiful and bright once more.


	17. Limitless

Robert woke next morning next to Cora. She was still sleeping, he could hear her breathing ever so slightly. All he could think of was how right it was that he was back home. He ran his fingers through her hair gently, letting his hands lightly grace her neck. She made small noises in her sleep, of pleasure. He pulled away, realizing how fastly this perfect morning could become a memory of the happy life that he used to have. He knew he was a complete idiot—how even though he was so much better, their relationship would be a struggle. And sweet Cora had bore it so well, and she was willing to struggle again for the happiness that she wanted so bad; with him, for god knows what reason. And he was to take it away with his confession of the car accident. He could only imagine the feelings that would rush through her head; when he thought of it, he was in a black hole of guilt. It haunted him almost with every waking though. However he would bear this pain, if Cora was spared. He would bear it all for her.

"Robert," she said sleepily and her blue eyes opened. She reached out her hand and let it rest on his chest.

"My darling," he said and clasped her hand in his and let it rest.

She gave him a smile, "Christmas is over."

"Yes," he said, thinking how true that was.

"What's wrong, darling?"

"Nothing to worry you with, not yet," he said and kissed her hand. "I'll go get us some breakfast," he added getting up quickly. She looked after him, wondering what he was keeping for her.

He went down stairs and was pouring coffee for the two of them, when Mary came in her coat. "I'm glad I caught you, before I left."

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going home till New Year's. And Edith, Anthony, and the children are staying with friends for a few days."

"Does your mother know?"

"She knows about me, Edith and Anthony, I'm not sure. Will you tell her?"

"Of course."

"You and mama will be all alone, aren't you happy?" Mary asked.

"I would be happy if I didn't have to tell her about the car accident."

"Oh dear," Mary said and rubbed his arm. "Do you have to tell her?"

"It's only fair, Mary."

* * *

Robert stayed in the kitchen, thinking about how best to tell her. There was no best way to tell her that he almost caused her death, and purposefully. But every time he touched her hand, his inner guilt wanted him to pull away from her. At the same time, selfishly, he wanted to wait a few more days-to be happy with her. _One more day, he thought._

"Robert?" Cora came down in her robe and asked, coming upon him in the kitchen.

"What is it dear?" Robert asked, hoping he didn't look to distraught outwardly.

"You were supposed to come back up with breakfast," she said, rubbing his shoulder and sitting at the table.

"Oh it must have slipped my mind."

She got up and went to the refrigerator, "It's no problem, the cook must have come in early like I asked to prepare meals for the day. Breakfast?" she asked with a smile.

"Yes, did you know that Edith and Anthony were going to stay with friends for a few days? Mary told me to tell you."

"Oh yes, I knew that, ages ago," she said sticking the food in the microwave. She turned towards Robert, "Mary seems distracted these days."

"She's probably in love with that Matthew fellow you told me about."

"Love is the most beautiful thing. Robert, I'm so glad we have a chance again. I know it's not an easy road, but it's a direction," she said, holding out her hands and he got up to grab them. He kissed her gently on the lips, "Cora, there's something I want to tell you..tomorrow, it might throw us off course, but please don't head for the hills."

"What is it, Robert?" she asked.

He pulled her closer to him, "Let's have one day of happiness, please. I know it's not much, but I can give you that."

"Fine, Robert, I can stay oblivious for another day," she said smiling and ran her finger on his chest. She was looking forward to one part of their reunion clearly. "I do have to go see Sarah. See how her Christmas was with Thomas."

"Are they together?"

Cora laughed, "Oh no, they are both kind of a queer disposition—especially Thomas."

"Ah, I see," he said.

"Should I be back at any set time?" she asked.

"By dinner, I have plans for you," he said and smiled.

She ran up the stairs to get dressed but said before she went, "You know, you've grown more cryptic than I remember."

"This is what they call normalcy, my dear." he said.

* * *

"Sarah, my dear," she said as Sarah opened the door to her apartment. Cora kissed her cheek gently and Sarah smiled.

"Come in," she said and welcomed her inside, where Thomas was meddling with something.

"Hello, Thomas," Cora said and sat next to him in the sitting area. "What is that your working on?"

"It's a clock, my dad sent it to me as a present. We used to work on clocks, when I was growing up."

"That's nice," Cora said.

"Yes, you'd think he would have sent me a brand new one. But he likes to be difficult in accepting time and people have moved on and changed."

"Parents," Cora said sarcastically and rolled her eyes.

"How was your Christmas?" Sarah asked.

"Very well, thank you. Edith's children really made it lovely and loud, of course. But it was nice to have my grandchildren and daughters around. Christmas feels more magical that way."

"And how is Robert?" Thomas asked.

"He's better, still struggling but so much better."

"So you've forgiven him then?" Sarah asked harshly.

"It's a work in progress, but I'm giving him a chance."

Silence pervaded the room and all that could be heard was Thomas trying to fix his clock. "Sarah, don't be too upset."

"I'm not, of course, I will support you. I can see it makes you happy, but I'll always watch out for you."

"She's a big girl, Miss O'Brien. I for one am glad they are together. If two people messed up as they are can rekindle the flame, well it gives me hope I won't just burn out."

Cora smiled. Thomas added, "Not to offend you," he said.

"Of course not, we are pretty messed up," she said.

* * *

Cora walked into the door and found the room almost in darkness. The small table in the sitting room was covered with a white cloth and had two candles on it. "Robert?" she yelled.

"Cora," he said coming out of the kitchen with two plates. "I was hoping that was you," he said and kissed her on the cheek. "Please take a seat," he said. He led her over to the table and pulled out the chair and she sat. "What is this Robert?" she asked.

"I was thinking of taking you out to our restaurant, but I thought this would be nicer. Do you approve?" he asked and looked a little scared.

"Of course I do, thank you! I just wasn't expecting this. I don't remember you ever cooking for me."

"Well I don't think I have, at least not for a long while."

"I hope it's not awful then," she said jokingly.

Cora and Robert enjoyed a meal together; thankfully Robert could cook, so the food didn't spoil it. They talked about their lives when they were separate. Robert recounted how much the therapy sessions had helped him and Cora told him fascinating stories of her single life. Robert lit a fire and they sat close on the sofa.

"Cora, I must confess something now. I saw you on your date with our dear friend," he said and looked at her.

"Oh, you did," she said and hid her face. "Was it awful from far away?"

"No, it quite made me jealous," he said, taking her limp hand in his. "I half expected to see him here at your Christmas party, taking up with you."

"Robert Crawley, you needn't be jealous," she said and laughed. She kissed him gently on the lips, "you are the only man I ever loved."

"Oh Cora, do you really mean that?" he asked and kissed her on the cheek.

"Of course, now tell me, do you really love me?" she asked and ran her pointer finger along his chest.

"How could I not?" he said and kissed her again, deeper this time. He was consumed with a desire to be intimate with her again and always be near her. He loved her more deeply than ever. Coming out of psychosis as he did and reflecting back on all the pain he had caused Cora, that she would stay with him and give him another chance, made him love her more dearly for it. It took a strong woman and a stronger love to sustain what they had.

"Robert, let's go upstairs," she said and he followed her up. Robert thought of what was to come tomorrow and felt a little guilty for what the evening was turning into. Robert sat on the bed, she took her jacket off and sat close to him. His legs wrapped behind her and she sat facing him. Her straps for her shirt fell to her shoulders. Robert went to move them up, "Cora, are you sure about this? Knowing what tomorrow will bring?"

"Robert, I stayed with you through everything, knowing you would hit me or yell at me the next day. Now, I have more hope than ever and I want you more than ever." she kissed his neck roughly. He let out a gasp of pleasure, "you won't leave me?"

She pulled away for a minute and looked into his eyes, "No, despite everything, I'm afraid we're destined or damned to travel together down the same road. Now can we stop being so serious?" Robert slid down her straps to her shoulders. She started to unbutton her shirt and he felt like his old self in a way. He had to have her, this mania that always went through him when Cora appeared. He leaned forward and she moved to lie on her back. He kissed her neck with fervor, and she wrapped her arms around him violently. Grasping at each other, reaching out, never getting their fill. How many moments had they really been in sync? All he could think of was being with her now-for as many seconds, hours, lifetimes, that he could. "Oh, Robert," Cora said. She gave herself over to him and him to her, time stood still and their hold on each other were infinite.

* * *

A/N: Apologies for taking so long to get this up, I wasn't feeling well and my school work is increasing now. I will resume my schedule of posting every week now :)


	18. The Monsters We Deserve

Chapter 18

_New Year's Eve_

Robert walked arm and arm with Cora down the street near their home. For a holiday, where almost everyone was smashed on one alcoholic substance or another, it was quite hard to find a quiet place. It was time to tell her past time—it had been a few days at this point. It was quite chilly and Cora snuggled to him close until they found a bench and set down. It was the early hours of the New Year.

"Cora..." he said and started shaking.

"Robert, what's wrong?" she said looking into his eyes and gripping her gloved hand in his hand hard.

"The truth is Cora, the car accident and everything that happened to you, it was my fault." he said, not meeting her eye.

Cora quickly jerked her hand away from him and moved silently away from him. She looked down and was silent.

After a few minutes, Robert spoke, "you have to understand, darling, that I never thought I could seriously hurt you and I was insane—absolutely insane. If I lost you, I couldn't go on living. I scared myself, even back then."

She continued to look down. She took a deep breathe and spoke, "don't call me darling. I have been haunted by nightmares of what you just told me. I told myself that it was untrue—that it was my unconscious making things up, and that I was the awful person. But it was you, the whole time and I've tortured myself over it. How could you?" She looked sharply on him. He stared into her blue eyes that had no love for him; he had never seen her eyes like that.

"I don't know..." Robert said and tears started to well up in his eyes.

Cora stood up and walked to the left, stopping for a second and wrapped her arms around herself to feel warmth. "I guess we get the monsters we deserve, what did I do to deserve you?" she said into the open air. She began to turn and walk away. Robert got up quickly, barely even capable of doing that. He followed a few steps, then gently touched her arm. She turned and he said, "you promised you wouldn't leave."

"and you promised that you would never hurt me again," she said back. He could see that she had been crying and the sharpness of her tone made him step back.

She walked, he still following her, she sat on the curb of the pavement. "Go on, Robert. Don't follow me. I need to be alone."

Robert walked solemnly on, catching her eye once more.

Cora sat on the pavement for several minutes crying, thinking nothing coherent—only that she was heartbroken. She didn't want to go back there, where all her family was, where there was warmth and happiness everywhere. Where she would have to pretend to be in love with Robert, because everyone thought everything was perfect and she didn't want to smash that illusion. She reached into her pocket and found her phone. She could only think of one person to call, who wouldn't have a revelation about her and Robert, _Sarah. _She smiled at the thought and dialed the number. Her hands were shaking from the cold and she stopped herself from crying to tell Sarah the address to come to her at. Cora got up and walked around, trying to get warm. Ten minutes went by and Sarah came. Cora looked at her, as she got out of the car, and couldn't move. Sarah met her in the middle of the street, "Cora, what's wrong?"

she asked and gripped her in a hug. "You're so cold," she said quietly. Cora started crying again into Sarah's shoulder. "Oh, Sarah," she said.

Sarah realized she was too upset to tell her and led her over to the car. The ride to Sarah's house seemed long; Sarah stayed silent, sensing that's what Cora would like best. They finally arrived at her flat and she opened the door and helped her out.

"I'll boil some tea," Sarah said, getting the kettle out. "You still like white as a ghost, sit down."

Cora sat down, she was in a trance. Her waking brain could not process Robert's confession. She just couldn't. Sarah came over to and felt her hands, they were still very cold. "I'll go get you a blanket," she said and went into her bedroom wardrobe. She knew Robert had done something or said something to upset her, something serious she guessed as she didn't even want to stay at home. She grabbed the warmest blanket she had and Cora wrapped it around herself. "I'm sorry about all this," she said as Sarah brought her the tea and sat next to her.

"You don't have to apologize, it's no bother," she said. Sarah took a sip of her tea, "Would you like the bed?"

"Oh no, I wouldn't want to put you out. I'll sleep on the sofa." Cora answered.

"No, take the bed, you need it more than I," Sarah said.

"If you insist," Cora smiled, "I'll only stay two, three days at most."

"Stay as long as you like, it seems like you need to away from Robert"

Cora turned and looked at her, "Please let's not talk about it tonight. Can we watch a film and wait till morning?"

"Of course, what film?"

"Anything," she said and the sadness seemed to radiate out of her.

Cora had fallen asleep at the tail end of the movie, she held onto her blanket tightly and Sarah sat not sure if she should wake her. "Cora?" she nudged her gently and Cora opened her eyes, "Mhmm?"

"Do you want to move to the bed?"

"No, I'm okay, you take the bed," Cora said sleeping. Sarah kissed her on the cheek, "Sleep well."

Cora dreamt she was in a forest. The air was light, the sun was shining, and she heard birds singing. She saw herself clothed in a white dress that hung loosely around her body. A man came up to her, his face was hidden from her, "Cora?" he asked.

"Yes, that's me. What do you want?" she said. He looked trustworthy, he was dressed very fine—too fine for the middle of a forest. A pinstripe gray suit with a dark red tie. He started to undo his tie and handed the red fabric to her. "This is for you," he said. "It fits you," he smiled and handed it to her.

Her heart beat hard as his fingers graced hers. "Excuse me, I'm not gentlemen. I'm a woman." She dropped it on the ground and looked at him.

"I know, shall we go walking together?" he asked and put out his arm for her to take. She questioned if she should for a moment, then cautiously linked her arm with his. They both stepped on the red tie and walked on. Further along the path, a thorn bush with one single rose blocked their path. Cora accidentally hit her finger against one of the thorns, she made a exclamation of pain. The man plucked the rose and took a petal off of it. He dabbed the small cut with it. "Thank you," she said gently. She then saw the face, it was Robert. She nearly fainted in the dream, but Robert caught her. As he held her, she looked up at him and he stroked her face—placing one kiss on her lips. It seemed to be a mark of destiny, as she pulled away, she felt different as if the world had changed.

He held out his arm again for her to take; this time she didn't hesitate, "I suppose so," she said. Robert and Cora woke up from the same dream with a start, then fell back into it.

* * *

A/N: Happy Downton Day :D I know this was sad, but I hope the dream sequence brought some relief!


	19. Midnight in Paris

Note: Corah heavy.

Dreams: I put the dreams in italics, so hopefully it's easier for you to read and understand.

Dream 1: Based in the 1920s, Gertrude Stein & Alice B. Toklas-esque. The poem that Sarah reads to Cora is not mine and credited to a line from "Love Song of Alice B." by Ms. Stein.

Dream 2: 1920s again, obviously loosely based on Zelda and F. Scott Fitzgerald.

Enjoy :)

_**Part I**_

"Cora, Cora, are you alright?" Sarah shook her awake. Cora found herself in a sweat and raised herself on the elbows. She ran her hands through her hair, realizing how messy it was and how in need of a bath she was—she still felt incredibly weak. She could tell the difference between reality and fantasy, but she still felt she had been up all night walking with Robert, rather than lying on her friend's couch.

"Oh yes, I'm fine, do you think I could take a bath? I feel so dirty."

Sarah smiled internally, "Of course, I'll get it setup for you."

Cora got up, "Oh no need. I think I can figure it out."

The bathroom looked from another world, the bath was in the center of the room and there was no shower. She found it quite charming. She quickly shed out of the clothes that she had worn yesterday and put them rather carelessly in the center of the floor. She climbed into the bath, then turned on the faucet; her pleasure increasing as the hot water submerged her body. She took a deep breath and focused on her thoughts. The last thing she wanted to go was to go home, but she figured she had only one more night she could stay at Sarah's. She had to see Edith, Anthony, and the children off. Robert could make her excuses till tomorrow, as she knew he would because he didn't want to tell them the truth as well. But perhaps they already knew, at least Mary. She was like the daughter he never had. Anyway she would be fine till then. But then what was she to do when she did get home? She would think of that when the time came. She sinked deeper into the water and leaned her head back, how heartbroken she was. Just as she was able to get rid of the numbness that came with loving Robert and being away with him, it came back and she didn't feel safe yet again. Sarah came in, "I hope you don't mind, I brought you some of my clothes to tide you over—my fancy clothes of course." Sarah then looked over at her, her eyes quickly gazed over the top of her breasts that were visible from her angle. Cora smiled at her.

"You're too sweet, Sarah, really. Will you help me out? I don't know the last time I had a proper bath."

"Sure I will," Sarah said and brought a towel with her. Cora handed her right hand to put it into Sarah's, as Sarah helped her out. Cora's eyes shot her a look of pleasure, mixed with doubt that she should feel any for anyone other than Robert. Sarah wrapped the towel around her quickly, feeling anxious at seeing Cora bare. "Would you mind getting a towel for my hair?" she asked.

"Of course," Sarah said. She brought a towel over to Cora, who was in front of the mirror. "I'll leave you to dress," and then shut the door.

Later Sarah and Cora walked through the town square, visiting the shops. Anything was better to Cora than sitting and thinking over and over how hopeless her situation was. She didn't have any money, but Sarah was willing to cover her for lunch and if she saw anything she had to have. Before they left, Cora had told her about the night before. It took every muscle for Sarah not to call him and curse him out. She had never been a fan of Robert, knowing the Cora deserved better. And this only made it worse—Cora, who usually hated her reaction to anything doing with Robert, felt almost proud of what Sarah said. It had been awhile since she felt so taken care of in a relationship and Sarah always made her feel that way—even when she was angry with her, her friend always acted out of care and not out of spite. "Shall we stop for lunch?" Sarah asked.

"Yes I'm parched," she answered. They found a restaurant to sit at, taking a two person table by the window. "Don't forget to eat," Sarah said, "you must regain your strength and your color."

"You care so much about my health," Cora said jokingly.

"No, I just want you to be able to beat Robert up if he tries anything." Sarah said looking into her eyes.

Cora grabbed her hand that sat on the table and took it in hers, "I doubt you would ever let that happen."

Sarah blushed just slightly, she had done it many times—so that it was barely noticeable to Cora. Cora leaned over the table, and place a gentle kiss on Sarah's lips that felt tight against her—even though it was her deepest secret desire to be kissed my Cora. As Cora pulled away, Sarah opened them gently as her lips left her. "What'd you do that for?"

"I just felt like it," Cora said with a shrug as a man came to take their order. Sarah couldn't wait till he was gone. Cora added, "Is it okay?"

"Of course, it's okay. I just wasn't expecting it that all," Sarah blushed brighter again.

"Dear Sarah, you've been so good to me, I hope you will get used to it."

Sarah grabbed her hand, "I think I can promise you that."

Cora fell asleep that night, after kissing Sarah again and again. She'd never kissed a girl, of course, there was only Robert as long as she could remember. She had fooled around with a few boys, but they seemed like a distant memory. She couldn't even remember one of their faces, even though she remembered their hands clumsily grazing over her stomach. She had never chosen who to love, Robert had kissed her first and she, though of a woman of free will, fell in love almost instantly. With Sarah, she chose. Even now, she felt her slipping away for her, knowing she would have to go back to her home and at least deal with Robert. The prospect of Sarah was pleasing to her, always a choice to leave it all and run away. Sarah would always be in the back of her head, she thought right now as a fleeting paradise; in future as a daydream.

* * *

_Cora lay in bed with her love, she recognized it as Sarah, only she had a boyish hair cut—cut close to the head. Cora, herself, barely recognized herself with a cropped cut that fell way above her shoulders. The room around them reeked of the era of the 1920s, with Picasso on the walls. She cuddled next to Sarah, "So what do you think?"_

_Sarah held a copy of a poem that Cora had finished earlier that day, entitled "Stanzas in Mediation." _

"_Let me finish," Sarah answered, looking very concerned. Cora placed her hand on Sarah's stomach._

"_How could you put him in there?" Sarah said, looking off from Cora and removing Cora's arm from her torso._

"_What do you mean? Robert?"_

"_Yes, Robert," she said with sharpness._

"_You've known about him, how can I just leave him out?" Cora said, trying desperately to understand what Sarah could mean. "You're being ridiculously jealous, there's need for it." Cora said, now getting mad as well and crossing her arms. Sarah put the manuscript on the bed stand and turned away from her lover. Cora sat thinking for a few minutes, thinking over and over. Sarah meant more to her than anything. "Sarah?" she said as she leaned over her and kissed her on the cheek. "If it makes you so cross, darling, I will take it out."_

"_Will you really?" she turned and looked at Cora._

"_Of course, you are the woman I will love till the end of my days." she said with a smile._

_Sarah pulled her down on top of her and kissed her deeply then pulled away. "Good, I want the world to know I was your greatest and only lover."_

"_Fine, darling," Cora said laughing, "Cross it out then."_

* * *

_**Part II**_

_Now Cora, dreamed of Robert, but mostly of herself. The time was almost certainly the 1920s, the house screamed of the furnishings of the day. She stood in the corner staring at Robert as he was talking to Jane. He watched as he laughed with her and danced with her—as she stood, watching and heartbroken. Cora walked up to Robert when he was alone at the bar, asking for a drink. She hit his arm harder than she meant to. "Cora, you're crazy."_

"_Am I?" she said taking a drink from her glass._

"_Yes, now get away from me, I beg of you."_

"_Fine," she said. She walked quickly away, thinking of what she could do. He hadn't talked to her, since well she didn't know, forever it seemed. And Jane laughed with him, every time they were alone, it was silence and fumbling clothes at the end of the night. It was nothing, nothing of what they had been. When she was free, and he was willing to give her freedom. When he looked at her with love and not hate. "Oh god, how I long for those days," she said out loud to herself—gaining a look from a gentleman._

"_What are you looking at?" she said and finished her drink, throwing the glass down. It made a loud noise that went unnoticeable, just like her she thought. It was as if she was stuck, she couldn't get free any longer. The drinks, the fights with Robert, she'd take all that over if he would just look at her. She looked for a window, but could find none that she could jimmy open. Robert came up to her, as her behavior was starting to gain attention, "Cora, dear, what are you doing?"_

_She turned quickly, "I'm trying to get out the window." He came closer to her and he held her wrists tight. "Stop it," she said quietly._

"_Cora, please, don't do this now, it's all very well when we're alone, you're suicide attempts but not here."_

"_Not in front of your little tart? Right?" she said and moved her whole arm to escape his grasp. She ran till she got to the long staircase. She stopped only for a moment and heard Robert coming behind her, she threw herself down the stairs as to escape him._

"_Darling, darling," she woke up to a few moments later. She looked at it, as ever there was Robert. She could not shake him, she knew it. She would drive herself crazy to be with him and think nothing of it. She knew she could be god awful crazy, the doctors had diagnosed her. She looked into his blue eyes, clear and sure._

"_Can we go home now, Cora?" he asked and looked a little flustered and worried._

"_If you love me," she said gently._

"_You never have to doubt that, my dear."_

_The dream now switched back to Cora in bed, Sarah. Sarah was holding her with her arms around Cora. "Don't laugh at me," Sarah said. "You're the writer._

"_I promise I won't, she said and smiled into Sarah's arm._

"_I caught sight of a splendid Misses. She had handkerchiefs and kisses. She had eyes and yellow shoes she had everything to choose and she chose me."_

"That must be about me," Cora said.

"What will you choose, Cora?" Robert voice echoed in the dream. She got up with a start and the dream ended.

* * *

She didn't know what to make of her dream, she couldn't make heads or tails of it. "Sarah!" she yelled and got up looking for her and found her still in bed.

"Good morning, darling," Sarah said and gave her a short kiss on the lips.

"I have to go, do you have my old dress? I know it's evening, but it'll do. Edith's leaving in a day."

Sarah watched as Cora went through, looking for all her belongings—the few she had. Sarah sat up in bed, bracing herself to get up. "Cora, what's wrong? You're running at a million miles an hour."

Cora turned sharply and gave her a look, "I told you I have to go home, for Edith."

"You're different than yesterday, you're going for him."

"I'm not," Cora said loudly, picking up her necklace for Sarah's bathroom.

Sarah came behind her, "then why are you leaving?" Cora turned and she could see that she had water forming her eyes. "Believe me, this is the last thing I want to do. I don't." she said and held Sarah's hand.

"What am I then?" Sarah said, crossing her arms.

"You're my dear Sarah," Cora said and went to the sitting room, grabbing her purse. She walked over to the door.

"You can't just leave like this, what am I a cursed princess in a fairy tale? You stopped at my dragon-guarded castle just to leave me in the end, because I'm not the princess you want?"

"Of course not," Cora said holding the door knob and looking down, away from Sarah.

"Then what am I?" Sarah said turning Cora towards her.

"I have to go" Cora said flatly and turned to go. She had no idea what Sarah was to her, only everything that happened between them was lovely and she had the hardest time leaving. But she knew, like in the dream, that Robert would echo in her mind unless she had some type of closure and that wasn't fair to Sarah either. She had to go and see Robert; she planned on going home for Edith anyway. She was still trying to make sense of it all, at least she would have the train ride to think on it before she got home to find the storm she had left behind.

* * *

A/N: I know I've been horrible with updated, I hopefully will improve, but I will post another chapter tomorrow as well to make up for it!


	20. I'm Coming Home Again

Cora stepped off the train, still confused but in a hurry to get home. She knew Edith was leaving today; for the life of her, she couldn't remember when. The last few days had been such a rush, taking away everything she had been so sure about and was not any longer. She thought her and Robert had a future, but now what? She didn't know, if she could get past it. What was next? Would she have to get a smaller home? Where would he move? Would she never see him again? The man that she built a life around; the man that had always been there for a quarter of a century. She couldn't imagine it, but at the same time, she couldn't imagine running back into his arms either. And what about Sarah? What did that mean? Was she a bi-sexual? Lesbian? Did she just need someone? Now that she had time to think, she felt so awful about leaving Sarah there and even about kissing her. Cora hadn't noticed before but she could tell that the kiss meant more to Sarah than to her. She did love Sarah, but for the life of her she couldn't think in which way. As a friend or as a lover? And what on earth did those dreams mean? They definitely created a distinction between Sarah and Robert. Her life with Sarah seemed dream-like, like she was running from something. Whereas with Robert, there would always be an aspect of crazy, but was it crazy that she could get over—that she could live with? Could she really forgot what he did those many months ago? Could she feel safe? It seemed like Robert was always with her, even when they were apart. Not to say that her life was Robert, but in a strange way he would never leave her—even if they split apart. He, to an extent, would dictate what direction she went. Like that road in the first dream, she walked along with him. She was scared at first, but it seemed right and now that things had changed with Robert, maybe it would be right.

"Mamma," Edith said as Cora walked in the door. "Gosh you are just in time, where have you been?" Edith kissed her on the cheek.

"I've made weekend plans with Sarah, I thought you were leaving later than this."

"Oh no, we got an earlier flight. Did you have fun?"

"Oh yes, I hope you enjoyed staying with us."

"We did, we'll have to come back. The children had more fun than anyone."

"We will miss you Grandmama," Martha came up and hugged Cora's legs and Anthony Jr. followed.

Cora smiled and bent down, "I will miss you, dearly. You must come back and we will have a proper day together." Cora kissed them on the cheek before they ran outside.

"How are you getting to the airport?"

"Papa has promised to drive us," Cora saw Robert come down the stairs and ignored his gaze. "Ahh here is," Anthony said with his arm around Edith, "your wife has finally come home, Robert."

He made a small smile, "just when I thought I had lost her." Cora smiled back, for show, and let him kiss her cheek. Cora gave anthony a hug and a kiss, and the same to Anthony before watching them go. Great now, she had more time to think about things that she could not yet find an answer to.

Cora decided to take a nap, as she was exhausted from traveling and thinking made her almost lose her mind at this point. Robert came back from driving that afforded him much time to think about how he could articulate himself correctly to Cora. He knew his words depended on it, if she only could be inside his mind and had seen all the tears he shed over his guilt. It was so hard to put into words his despair, guilt, and all the rest of it. He creeped into her room quietly, the door was partly open, so he did it quite skillfully and sat in the chair that faced the bed. He stared upon her face, oh god he couldn't imagine losing her. He just wanted to talk with her so bad, to explain how very sorry he was—how he barely felt living at times, but it wasn't that easy, he knew. He had spent the past two days agonizing about the future, wondering if she would come back. Where had she gone? What had she done? What did she want to say to him?

Cora woke and found Robert looking at her, she lifted her head and looked at him questioningly, then rubbed her eyes. "Robert, what are you doing here?"

"You look very nice, darling."

"Now's not the time for all that."

He looked down, "I know, I just want to talk to you desperately."

She looked at him face on, "You know, I didn't come back for you, I came back for me."

"I know all that, Cora. What woman would come back for me?"

"None," she said sharply and shot him a look. There was silence, neither knowing what to say to the other. "You know I was happy with Sarah, I kissed her and she took care of me."

"Oh is that where you were," he said flatly. "So you've come to gather your things than leave."

"Don't be ridiculous," she said and sat in a chair closer to him. "It wouldn't be fair to her, since your voice echoes in my dreams asking me what I want."

"I had a dream like that, only it was you, asking what kind of lover I was to be."

"Enough of all that, what do you want to say to me?" she said sharply.

"I want to say...that I'm sorry." He began to tear up and his lip quivered. He came to her feet and fell to his knees. She patted his back gently, "Oh god, Cora, if you could only be inside my mind. Doing that to you, was the worst thing I've ever done." He cried freely now and his tears fell on her nightgown. "It's eating me up inside and it won't stop. I don't deserve to even beg at your feet, but I want to ask so badly for your forgiveness and for you to know, that the guilt that I feel may never go away. And craziness is no excuse for my behavior, so I won't use it." he said looking up at her. "And that I never meant to hurt you, never did I think I would take it that far and I know I have a million times in this very room. I've held you down, almost to the point of choking. And if I could take it all back and the price of it was my life, I would in this second right now. At least you would know how sorry I am before I go."

She teared up a little, she didn't feel bad for him exactly but she felt a wall break between them, never had he been so open to her. "I know you are, Robert. But you must understand that this isn't easy for me either, not knowing what will happen in the future."

"I know, darling," he placed wet kisses on her hand over and over again. "I want our future to be together. I will lie at your feet everyday if I have to, to prove that I mean what I say—that I am more tore up inside than you could ever know, and that I will devote every minute I have to making you happy and never hurting you again." He flipped over her hand and placed kisses on her palm, then he traced the lines on them. He wished he could follow them into her, that he could know know what she was thinking. Knowing that her feelings for him were as interconnected and confused as these lines that flowed into each other. He looked at her, a tear going down his cheek and still blubbering slightly. "Please tell me it's not too late."

Cora was silent for a moment. What did she want? Anyone sane would say that she should leave Robert, that she should have left him a long time ago. Even people against women being with women, would surely tell her that she should be with Sarah. She had even small voice in her head that she should be with her, but a larger voice that seemed to radiate told her that Robert was what she wanted, what she had always wanted. "Okay, I will give you a chance, but if anything goes wrong again, I'm gone."

He breathed out, letting his relief out, "Do you really mean it darling? A real chance?"

"Yes," she said smiling, "...if you mean everything you say."

"I do," he said and grabbed her hand, placing kisses up her arm over and over again.

"Now shall we get up and start our new journey together?" she said holding out her hand and helping him up.

"Yes, please," he said.

Cora held his hand as they went downstairs. The dream had told her it was a road leading to nowhere, a flat thing where her relationship with Robert was in stasis was never growing or getting better, it just was. She believed now that they were not so much stuck in a pattern, but could overcome it. It wasn't to be easy, but it was to be together. They would run up that hill, facing their demons as they got to the top, and they would go stronger in love. He carried her down the stairs, paying her every attention, looking into her eyes. "Darling, I will make this feel like home to you again," Robert said softly into her ear. Cora smiled and leaned against him, looking forward to _truly _being with Robert after all this time.


	21. Epilogue

_Two Months Later_

"Cora, are you alright?" he said and leaned over her shoulder as she sat on the sofa, looking at her phone.

"Oh yes, fine. I just wish Sarah would call me or answer my texts. I do miss her."

Robert sat next to her, hooking his arm around her. "Are you sure you sent a text?"

Cora gave him a surprised face and hit him gently on the shoulder with the back of her hand, "I'm not that terrible with technology."

"No?" he asked. "Well darling, I'm sure she will come around. She's probably just hurt, you aren't the easiest person to get over.." Cora leaned over and kissed him on the lips.

"I suppose you're right. So are you ready to go home?" she asked. Robert and Cora, after they were left alone after the holidays, decided to go to one of their country homes. They spent much of the time, talking about topics that used to be taboo. They were not in perfect shape, of course, but it was a step in the right direction. They had to go back this afternoon, as they were starting their couples therapy tomorrow. They had to go back to real life. Robert was more excited than Cora to head back; he had been through therapy and knew his therapist—as Cora did not.

"Oh yes, it's been lovely being here, but we need to get back to real life and real issues. I don't want to ignore them anymore," he held her hands and kissed them gently. She smiled back at him.

"So this is it?" she said as she parked the car in the parking lot. The building was rather large, almost gothic looking; not very comforting.

"Yes, Cora, I know it looks frightening, but it's really lovely and the doctor is quite nice."

"I suppose so," she said looking down and moving to open the car door. Robert grabbed her hand, "you do trust me on this, darling?"

She grasped his hand tighter in his, "I do, c'mon let's go," she said with the smile that he loved to see.

Robert and Cora walked around the parking lot, life was moving around them. Couples held hands on the streets, little children held onto their mothers hand, and a teenage boy looked longingly at a girl that was sitting alone in the square. Cora looked around her: after everything that had happened, she was ready to join life again—not to live in a dream world of happiness but to reclaim her real happiness with Robert. She leaned into him and he smiled, before kissing her on the cheek. They walked in together, ready to begin again.

* * *

The end, sorry this took so long! I hope you enjoyed this story and thank you for reading :) A special thank you to Shellz Kiwi for all her feedback and keeping me motivated throughout the whole thing 3


End file.
